Stress vs. Pressure
We have all felt it, the constant dread of anxiety. Stress or stress-related activities can consume us mentally as well as tax our physical condition. Stress has been linked to:
- high blood pressure
- heart disease and stroke
- mental and emotional dysfunction
- family and relational issues
What can we do to deal with these situations? There are some who advocate a meditative approach, but sometimes our stressful times and activities can be met head on – if we have planned for these situations.
Often, we have the answer to these stressful situations. For instance, if we are stressed about our financial position (behind on bills, no savings, losing job, etc.), then we must ask ourselves if this is a “self-imposed”situation.
In other words, did you create this problem? If you created the problem, you can create a solution.
- Meet with your creditors. (I have a background as both a lending officer and as a collection agent – most financial institutions would rather “work out” a suitable contingency program than take legal action. The key is to create a plan that is workable and then commit to fulfilling your end of the bargain.)
- Set up a plan that will help you get your bills up to date.
- Once you have a plan, stick to it.
- If you have no savings, set up a plan for how you can start a savings plan. Begin with small, regular deposits and increase the amounts as you have the means, but set a specified minimum amount and never allow yourself to miss it.
Do you see a theme? The best remedy for stress is preparation. Simply stated, we are most often stressed by the things for which we have not prepared.
- Do you remember being called on in school to answer a question? Your stress level was much lower if you knew the answer. This required study – preparation.
- Have you ever been asked to speak in public? As your degree of preparation rises, your level of stress decreases.
Perhaps you are stressed because you don’t have enough time to do everything that needs to be done. This stress is not caused by the totality of what we need to accomplish but because of our lack of efficient time management.
Here are some things we can do:
- Have a plan. Write things down. Simply by putting pencil to paper, you have put yourself in the top 10% of productive people. Make a list at the start of each day of what you need to accomplish, would like to accomplish, and must accomplish.
- Prioritize the list. Start with the highest priority and work through the list.
- Focus on your list. You will feel a sense of pride and accomplishment each time you can check off one of your “to do” items.
- Practice this daily, not just when you get behind. It all boils down to repetition. Repetition leads to confidence.
Confidence is the difference between pressure and stress. Pressure makes you more focused and more motivated because you are confident. You are confident because you have prepared.
Stress causes anxiety and fear of failure most often because you have not taken the necessary steps to ensure your preparedness.
Expect to be successful because you have built your confidence through preparation and repetition.
Whining and complaining will not solve your problems
GUEST WRITER: Scott Kay – inventor of the Rotater
I stopped at an old farm house to ask directions from an old man who was sitting in his rocking chair. He was out on his porch with his dog. As I approached, the dog, who was just laying there, let out a little yelp and then a whimper. It didn’t sound like it was directed at me, besides it wasn’t a growl or anything.
Anyway, I asked the man how to get back to the interstate and then the dog made the same ill-sounding noise. The old man paid no attention to the dog and politely charted me a course back to the interstate. Just as the old man finished giving me directions, the dog once again let out that awful, whimpering sound. At this point, I asked the man, “What’s wrong with your dog?”
The old man replied, “He’s just laying on a nail.” To which I responded, “Well, why doesn’t he move?” The old man just sat back in his rocker and said, “Well, it hurts bad enough to whimper and whine, but it’s not bad enough to do anything about it.”
This is true of so many people. They whine and complain about where they are, about what they don’t have, and about how bad things are. But very seldom, do any of these people DO a single thing to improve their own situation.
It’s very easy to do something, but it’s just a whole lot easier to do nothing. It doesn’t matter what you think your your problem is:
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If you are fat, then go on a diet
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If you are skinny, then eat a biscuit
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If you are short, then get a ladder
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If you are tall, then kneel down
Whatever it is, do something! Too many people are waiting for someone else to do it for them. People want to just wait for their ship to come it. I say, “swim out to it.” If your ship is big enough, then it won’t be able to get close to shore anyway.
The point is – If you want things to change, then you must change. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will get the same result that you’ve always gotten.
The choice is yours. Accept responsibility for your life. You put yourself in the position that you are in and you are the only person who going to get you out of that position. But here is the kicker – YOU are the only person that can keep you in the situation that you are in.
I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to hear this and you probably disagree with me, but that’s okay, you can be wrong. But, be absolutely honest with yourself – what has whining and complaining ever done to better your way of life?
Reevaluate your life.
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What do you think about? – You become what you think about.
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How do you talk and what do you talk about? – Improve your vocabulary and discuss issues that are important to you.
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What do you do? – Your life depends on what YOU do.
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Who do you associate with? Are they successful? – You become like those you hang around, that is a fact!
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How do you use your time? – Hanging out and watching TV won’t get you where YOU want to be.
Now ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now, moving me closer to where I want to be?” If the answer is no, then don’t think it, say it, do it or associate with it.
How long are you going to be like the old dog? How long before the situation becomes so uncomfortable that you stop complaining about your problems and get up and do something? Take charge of YOUR life today.
Life from a child’s view
Children say the funniest things.
My wife and I read to our girls every night at bedtime. We’ve done this since our oldest daughter was born and our girls make sure that we don’ t forget. Sometimes, due to the length of the book, we may only read a chapter, but unless they have stayed up past their bedtimes, we read every night. The girls alternate picking out what they want to hear at bedtime, so the content may vary from Jules Verne’s “Journey to the Center to the Earth” to “The Three Little Pigs”.
A couple of nights ago, my youngest daughter, Peyton, soon to be four, picked out an educational book. You know the sort. It teaches colors, numbers, counting, similarity, and opposites.
My wife was doing an excellent job reading and teaching as I listened. When they got to the subject of opposites, my wife’s teaching skills became even more apparent. The following is a short dialogue of what happened.
Wife: “If something is not up, it is …..”
Peyton: “down”.
Wife: “Good job Peyton. If something is not little, it is …”
Peyton: “big”.
This interaction continued for several minutes, until my wife came to the in/out or on/off concept and this is what was said:
Wife: “If Peyton is not in the bed, she is ….”
Peyton: “In trouble”
Needless to say my wife and I exploded into laughter. Children make our lives a joy. Thank God for them.
To change your life, you must want to change and then take action
Often you hear people say, “I want to change”. The truth of the matter, however, is that this is seldom true. People do not like change for the most part because it forces them out of their comfort zone. And once a person is out of their comfort zone, there is no telling what may happen.
One of the first and maybe greatest obstacles to change is the fear of the unknown. When a person is forced to change by outside forces (loss of job, relationship ends, etc.), there is mostly:
- resentment
- opposition
But, as we all know, these things occur regularly, so our options are to:
- deal with it
- avoid it
Avoiding the situation is not really an option because this change has been thrust upon us by forces beyond our control. We cannot keep going to a job that no longer employs us, nor can we maintain a relationship that no longer includes us. This leaves our only real option of dealing with it.
Internal, self-motivated change can be caused by a number of things, but usually it is the result of a realization that there is something about ourselves with which we are no longer content.
This is often the cause of dieting and exercise programs, continuing our education or beginning a program of enlightenment. This is the best kind of change, but also the most difficult to maintain because the motivation for changing resides within us and therefore we control how strong the motivation is.
This motivation is often attacked by our friends and relatives and manifests itself with responses like:
- “I like you just the way you are”
- “Do you know how (long, hard, insert adjective) it going to take to do that?”
- “Don’t you think you’re a little old for that?”
- “What are our friends/relatives going to think”
These well-meaning people, are in reality only trying to maintain the stability of their own lives. If you continue to pursue your path of changing and you are successful, then you force them to examine their own lives and as we’ve noted, people will avoid changing if it is a viable option.
If you want to change then you will be in the process of changing. If you are not in the process of changing then you don’t really want to change, you are simply toying with the idea. If you are toying with the idea of changing some aspect of your life, then make some lists:
- List all the pros and cons of changing
- List all the possible consequences that this change may cause
- List all the people affected by this change
- List all the possible objections you will hear
- Finally, look within yourself and ask, “Will this change contribute to my happiness?”
If you truly want to change some part of your life then you will take action. Get started today and be in the process of changing your life and your future.
Five steps to success - A “novel” approach to wealth and riches
Somewhere, right now, there is an infomercial being shown, telling the world how to get rich. Some tell you how to get rich quick, others just tell you their “sure-fire” way to get rich — if you will just purchase the requisite “Get-Rich” program materials.
Now one thing is for sure. Someone is getting rich. My opinion is that the only ones guaranteed to get rich are the ones selling the “Get-Rich” program materials. Do these programs work? Probably, by some, to some degree. But we’ll never know for sure because the “Get-Rich” and the “Get-Rich-Quick” companies don’t post or reveal definitive statistics on success and failure rates. Again, do they work? Probably for some small (read that - miniscule) number, but as my good friend J. S. likes to say, “Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every once in a while” (this is also a miniscule number).
So, here’s my novel approach:
Step 1: Find something that you are passionate about.
It makes no difference what your passion is. It could be stock car racing or butterfly collecting. But, it must be your passion and not someone else’s idea of what you should be doing. It can’t be a parent’s dream for your life. It can’t be a friend’s suggestion. It must be yours. This step is critical — What are you passionate about?
Step 2: Research, Research, Research
This is where 98% of people will choose to “opt-out”, drop out and lose interest. They will quit because they did not choose a topic that inspires their passions. If you’ve chosen a passionate topic, then you won’t quit - because you can’t quit. You refuse to quit. If doing a great deal of research bothers you then you have obviously not chosen something that stirs you.
Stop reading now or go back to step one. For those of you that have a passion, then let’s move on.
Why do research? As your knowledge of a subject increases, so to does the awareness of the opportunities for profitability in areas related to your subject.
For example, have you every purchased an item that you felt was relatively unique only to realize that after you purchased it that there are many more of these items “out there” than you thought? Did you start a trend? Maybe, but probably not. Because of your passion to have this item, you bought it. With this passionate item in your possession, you became more aware that others have the same passionate desire for this item. The number out there did not change, only your awareness of them changed – because you acted on your passion.
It is your goal to find as many areas of potential profitability as possible. This is not a problem for you because you are web-savvy. You have the great, vast databases of the internet quivering with anticipation of your keystrokes. So let the games begin. Search, research, down load, read and analyze. Use sites like Del.icio.us (great for book-marking research - tag and store your pertinent web page research). Now, do it again. Use different search engines, search different phrases, but don’t stop until you see or feel the “BIG” idea begin to take shape.
Step 3: Write, Write, Write
Yes, I know that this is the computer age, but there is a method to my madness. By using pen and paper, you activate different parts of your brain, creating or reinforcing neural pathways.
Remember a time when you injured one of your hands and had to learn how to do all the things you did with your injured hand with your uninjured hand. At first this was difficult, but with time and repetition theses tasks became much easier. This demonstrates the creation of new neural pathways and you soon became capable of most tasks with your “good” hand.
Writing down your thoughts and ideas creates new neural pathways and these new neural pathways increase the awareness of your passion while at the same time increasing your memory of other facts and ideas about your passion that you’ve already recorded and cataloged.
Once you begin your quest, it is imperative that you keep a pencil and paper handy at all times. Keep them with you as you do your research, ride in your car (please stop and pull over to write), or even sleep. You may find this hard to believe now, but ideas don’t wait for you to get ready and they seldom hang around in your brain’s RAM for very long. Also, get ready to write a lot. By focusing on your passion, you will begin to be bombarded with thoughts, ideas and plans for your passion.
As ideas flow into your mind, stop and record every one of them with as much detail as you can. At first, there will only be a trickle of innovative thoughts, but this will soon turn into a deluge that you cannot stop. Record every single one of them.
Step 4: Research, Write, Research, Write
You have probably acquired several good but vague ideas of how to translate your passion into profitability. It now becomes your quest to acquire and develop the needed data that moves your passionate ideas from the dim, light bulb of vagueness to the focused, high-powered dot of a laser beam.
The wild, web-slinging data acquisition machine that you are is now primed and ready to proceed. Begin by searching web sites that have products and services related to your passionate idea. Go to www.score.org. This site has a wealth of information that extends from providing information to connecting you with a mentor. In their words, “…dedicated to providing resources and expertise to maximize the success of existing and emerging small business.” And it’s all free. Another site that has a tremendous storehouse of information is www.sba.gov/. This is the U. S. Small Business Administration, another free site.
If you have trusted friends or relatives, then discuss your ideas with them. Network to locate contacts that can provide you with help, information or more contacts. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ll be surprised at who you know that has knowledge, access to knowledge or contacts that will be more than willing to help:
- if you can clearly communicate your ideas and
- you are willing to ask for their help.
Are you beginning to see the necessity of having a passion? Of recording every thought and idea? This information and passion are the tools you need to communicate to others how you plan to accomplish your dream.
Step 5: Persist & Plan
At this point you should have an idea for a product or service that your are “on fire” about. You should have the information and /or the contacts needed to help you develop your passionate idea.
Now, all the leg work, emails, phone calls and meetings can begin. There will be numerous small speed bumps, that if considered collectively, form a mountain of opposition to the realization of your passion and if not dealt with effectively will grind you into submission.
Stop and record each of the speed bumps individually. Study each one individually and then write a short plan for how to deal with it, who will deal with it (if you have help), and when it will be completed. Set a deadline and then reevaluate at that time. Brian Tracy’s book, “Eat that Frog” will help you immeasurably at this stage.
As the speed bumps begin to smooth out, all the hard work (which is really not hard work at all because this is your passion) will begin to pay dividends. To reach this point is a huge accomplishment.
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You began with a passionate desire and exceeded the good intentions of 98% of those who think they want to succeed.
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By researching your passion, you have found income producing possibilities and opportunities waiting to be exploited.
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You have continued to fine tune your research while manually recording your plans for achieving your passionate idea.
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You’ve discovered contacts, information and skills that have lain dormant within you awaiting your passion.
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By now, you have all the information or access to the information necessary for your success.
The “novelty” of this approach to riches & wealth is that everything that you need to succeed resides within you.
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It’s seed is your passion
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Water it with knowledge
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Feed it with possibility
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Reap the harvest of your diligent effort
How much “passion” do you really have?
Ten minutes and six steps to a meaningful, purposeful life
Get up - Take a shower - Grab a bite - Kiss the kids and wife (or husband) – Catch the train, bus, car, (fill in the blank________) to work - Do your time - Rub elbows - Head home - Eat dinner (supper, if your from the south) - Spend a little time with the kids before their bedtime - Watch a little tv - Lights out - Maybe some bedroom hyjinks - Sleep - Repeat daily — weekends off for good behavior.
Sound familiar? Call it a rut or call it a grave — the only difference is the depth. But the question is “How can you change”? “How can you get out of this rut”? The answer is simple. Stop living accidentally — because that’s what you’re doing now. If you don’t have a purpose (clear and defined) and a plan (written) for your life, then everything you do is accidental and pretty much incidental. Life is happening all around you, but your not experiencing it; you’re just bumping into it from time to time.
So what’s the remedy? Give yourself ten minutes each day to change your life. Five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night.
Get up five minutes earlier (yes I’m aware that you need your sleep, but you won’t miss it) each morning for the purpose of preparing yourself and your mind for the coming day; a kind of “get your mind right” exercise. Find a quiet spot and:
1. Be thankful - take a minute ( no more) to reflect on:
- your previous night’s rest, your health, your family, your career, etc
- the opportunities of the coming day.
2. Prepare for the day - one minute
3. Self Motivate - one minute
- yes talk to yourself. It is ok.
- be positive, optimistic and happy. Stand tall, shoulders back and head held high. Your posture has a great influence on your mood.
- remind yourself that everything that is happening is for your ultimate benefit. Realize that every event has two sides - a positive and a negative or an optimistic and pessimistic - you determine your point of view.
4. Decide to contribute value to other people’s lives - two minutes
- Smile - it makes you feel good and it makes the other person feel better. It’s healthier for you and it’s a mood-setter, meaning it’s the first thing people notice when you meet. Your smile disarms and welcomes. It makes interaction easier.
- Greet others - Hi, How are you doing?, What’s up?, or How ’bout it? (it’s a southern thing). This show others that you are willing and able to interact.
- Compliment others - but only if you can genuinely offer a compliment. It makes people feel good and it makes you feel good to help others feel good.
- Engage others - ask about them, their family or their interests. Everyone likes to talk about their interests and will be flattered that you remembered to ask about them.
- Listen - give them your attention or don’t bother to engage them at all. Remember that you may need a shoulder to cry on sometime and this person could be a willing confidant.
- Empathize - be willing to see and feel their situation. Laugh or cry with them - but be there to provide the support they need.
- Help them - ask how you can help and then follow through.
- Console - if there is nothing you can do then simply offer your consolation. If possible try to lift their spirits.
5. Review your day - three minutes
- Acknowledge your accomplishments - Feel good about them.
- Acknowledge your missed opportunities - Try to see how it could have been different.
- Resolve to have a fresh start in the morning.
6. Wind down - two minutes
- Give thanks for the day and the opportunities it provided.
- Relax - consciously flex and relax your muscles slightly. This will allow you to see where you might be experiencing stress and then you can consciously relax these muscles allowing you to drift off to a peaceful sleep sooner.
- Self talk - tell yourself that you are going to have a deep and restful nights sleep.
- Visualize - in your mind’s eye, allow your dreams and goals to come into focus and see them as you continue to relax and drift off to sleep.
Commit to following this plan or one of your choosing for one month, then compare the differences in your life before and after. I have no doubt that you will be amazed and what you are capable of accomplishing.
A manager’s success depends on his people skills
There doesn’t seem to be a clear-cut pathway to becoming a manager. I don’t think any child dreams of one day being in middle management. However, colleges and universities still offer management curricula, so someone must aspire to managing. My guess is that most managers have the position “thrust” upon them, an essential rung in the corporate ladder, with little or no choice in the matter.
In my professional career, I’ve both managed and been managed. I’ve seen some great managers and some who couldn’t manage to come in out of the rain. The quality that seems to divide these two extremes is “attitude”.
Being a great manager is no accident. It takes:
- effort
- time
- dedication
- continuing education
- a high degree of commitment to developing the skills which lead to greatness
The first step in achieving excellent or even adequate management skills is the desire to be a better manager. Recognition of the need for personal growth and the development of necessary managerial skills is paramount.
Regardless of what you may have heard or believe, very few (an infinitesimally small number of) people are natural-born leaders! It is amazing to witness the apparent arrogance of those who believe that possession of a degree or title makes them competent managers.
In any field of endeavor, excellence requires a commitment to the development of that excellence. There are no craftsmen that I know of, who believes or would dare to even joke that “I am a natural-born carpenter”, or ” I am a natural-born welder”. It just won’t happen. The humility of hard work, study and long hours of practice in their craft strip away the false bravado. It has taken them years to develop and hone their skills. Becoming an excellent manager is no less strenuous.
Managers manage people
After realizing that being an excellent manager requires diligent effort, a potential manager must decide what he is going to manage. Someone will say that because of my background, education or previous training, that “I will manage the accounting department”, or “I will manage receiving”, or “I will manage production”. The managers that think these thoughts have missed the boat and are doomed to failure, because what managers manage is people! P E O P L E ! (yes, I know that all caps is shouting on the web — it’s that important)
So, if you desire to be a manager and you recognize that managers manage people, then you are beginning to realize that only “your people” can demonstrate to others how effective your management skills are. It stands to reason then, that you must develop your people skills.
How you treat “your people” can make or break you and will directly impact your effectiveness. If you want “them” to respect you and your management philosophy, then you will have to:
- show your respect for them
- show your respect for their ideas
- show your respect for their needs
Smile and greet the “little” people, talk to them, acknowledge their existence, question their methods, explore their expertise, get to know them. Remember, you manage people not reports, not meetings and not conference calls. In most cases they will reciprocate and be more productive.
Without a doubt, the ultimate manager is the military leader who can motivate his troops and convince them to follow him into armed conflict. It is imperative then that the leader make sure that every soldier in his or her command knows of their importance to him. This leader’s success literally lives and dies with “his” people.
But in reality, doesn’t every manager’s success live or die with “his” people?
Who’s to blame?
GUEST WRITER: Scott Kay – inventor of the Rotater
It seems to me that people are constantly searching for someone to blame for their current situation in life. I mean really – there has to be somebody responsible for me being where I am in my life right now.
There are so many potential candidates. Could it be:
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MY PARENTS? – Were they too strict or were they too lenient? Or maybe it’s because they were abusive or alcoholics or in jail and left me alone to be raised by a single parent or perhaps no parent at all. Maybe it’s because of the whole “broken” home issue or because we were poor. No, it can’t be for any of those reasons because of the simple fact that there have been successful people who have come from homes and families with these same problems !
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MY EDUCATION? – Could it be the fact that I went to a public school or a private school? Perhaps it was because my school was segregated or integrated. It was probably because my teachers didn’t like me and the principal had it in for me. No, that can’t be it. Other people have become successful – some without even having a high school diploma!
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THE GOVERNMENT? – It has to be the government. It is the republican’s fault for taking my money and giving it to the wealthy. No, no, it’s the democrat’s fault for taking my money and giving it to the poor. I know, it’s that the tax laws are written for the rich or the fact I don’t qualify for government assistance. No, it can’t be for any of these reasons, because someone, somewhere has overcome all these obstacles and succeeded.
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BECAUSE OF “WHO” I AM ?– It must be my color, or my heritage. Maybe, I’m too tall or too short, too fat, or too skinny, too old or too young. No, because old, short, fat immigrants have come to this country, not knowing our language or culture, flat broke and they have still become successful as have young, tall, skinny immigrants!
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MY JOB? – That’s what it is. I need a job – a better job. My boss hates me. I never get promoted. I don’t have a 401k and my co-workers are holding me back. No, that can’t be the problem either, because people have been fired from a job and have still become successful!
I could go on and on, listing all the possible culprits that are conspiring to “keep you down”, but let me break it down for you. Are you ready? THE PERSON TO BLAME, THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CURRENT SITUATION, IS READING THIS ARTICLE, RIGHT NOW.
Don’t look around to see who is reading over your shoulder. I’m talking to you. You are responsible for where you are in your life. Now for the good news – YOU ALSO CONTROL WHERE YOU WILL GO AND WHAT YOU WILL BECOME FROM THIS POINT ON.
Stop looking for someone to blame and start focusing on what you can do, what you can become and where you can be. If others have come from circumstances that are worse than the situation that you are in, and have become successful, then why can’t you?
Excuses are abundant – but that’s what they are. They are the words that you use to try to excuse yourself from being what you can be. It’s all about YOUR choices – nothing else really matters.
110 excuses and negative phrases that are limiting your potential
We are the product of the things that we think about. How we think and what we think, about ourselves as well as others, becomes obvious when we begin to examine the things we do and the way we talk.
- The book of Proverbs (23:7) says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
- Marcus Aurelius said, “Our life is what out thoughts make it.”
- Buddha said, “Mind is everything. We become what we think.”
- William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”
So how we think is shown to the world by how we act and how we talk. Do you live a negative life? Most would probably answer, “no”. Your reality may entirely different than you think.
Recently I became interested in the negative phraseology (is that a word?) that I hear everyday. I started to list all of the negative phrases that I hear used everyday and was surprised at it’s length. The scary part is that it is by no means complete.
I encourage you to add to it in the comments. Use the “Share This” button to email it to a friend so that they can add to it.
Most of all, ask yourself, “Does my manner of talking betray my negative thinking?”
- that’s the way it’s always been
- that’s the way we’ve always done it
- don’t make waves
- don’t rock the boat
- go along and get along
- we like the old-fashioned ways
- I don’t need to know anymore than I already know
- If it was good enough for ________________, then it’s good enough for me
- I’m not paid to make those kinds of decisions
- It’s not my job
- It was like that yesterday
- nobody cares
- let somebody else worry about it
- it’s good enough for now
- why change now?
- this is the only way
- money doesn’t grow on trees
- life is hard
- you can’t have everything you want
- I can only do one thing at a time
- it’s just not possible
- I’m set in my ways
- you can’t teach an old dog new tricks
- I’m too old to learn something new
- it’s impossible
- that’s not part of my job description
- let me check on it
- I’ll have to get back to you
- I’m not qualified to handle that
- it’s out of my hands
- nobody told me
- why should I be the first?
- your expectations are too high
- I’ll do it tomorrow
- they’re just lucky
- they think they are so smart
- they think they are better than everyone else
- I don’t see the upside
- I’m not a guinea pig
- life is a rat race
- why want more?
- nobody showed me how to do it
- I don’t know how to do it
- we can’t afford it
- do you think I’m made out of money?
- someday, I’ll ___________________
- one day, I’ll ____________________
- it’s a waste of time
- why should I do it?
- what’s in it for me?
- tell somebody who cares
- it’s not my fault
- I’m a loser
- I can’t do that
- it’s not my style
- why change now?
- it’s a waste of time
- I should have known better
- life’s a bitch
- you can’t change the world
- I’m nobody
- nobody listens tome
- does it really matter?
- you can’t do that
- what will everybody think?
- don’t stir things up
- leave it alone
- I’m only one person
- what do you expect me to do?
- I can’t go along with that
- don’t go out on a limb
- don’t stick out in a crowd
- I don’t believe in compromise
- it’s not my problem
- if you ignore it, it’ll go away
- don’t expect me to do it
- don’t count on me
- it’s out of my hands
- it’s beyond my control
- I can’t do it all
- I don’t have it in me
- don’t put me in that position
- don’t look up to me
- why can’t you do it?
- I would but _____________________
- I don’t want to
- whatever ……………………
- today is not good for me
- what is the point
- why me?
- you want me to do what?
- what’s in it for me?
- what’s the rush
- ask me if I care
- don’t be stupid
- it’s out of the question
- there are no exceptions
- that’s not my style
- I’m not able to _____________________
- I don’t have the skills
- I’m not technically minded
- I’m not smart enough
- it’s not worth my time
- I can’t talk in front of people
- I can’t ____________________________
- it’s too risky
- what if I fail?
- what will everyone think of me?
- I’m afraid
- it’s over my head
I’m sure that I’ve left some phrases out and I may have included some phrases more than once, but you get the idea. The point is: the way that we speak reflects our true image of ourself, how we view society and what we think of others.
Are you sabotaging yourself by using limiting or negative words and phrases? Eliminate the negativity from your speech and watch your life change.
Gone in a split second
(This article/post was originally posted on www.soupornuts.wordpress.com. All of my older postings/articles will follow in the next few days. I will be posting new articles along the way.)
Recently, I was traveling on the interstate to meet my wife. It had been raining pretty hard for about an hour, but had slacked-up in the last few minutes. I was deeply engrossed in a cd entitled ”Cracking the Millionaire Code“ and was traveling with the car on cruise control.
Without warning, I felt the car give a quick jerk that I immediately recognized as hydro planing. Quickly tapping the brake pedal to disengage the cruise control, I began to feel the car go into a more prolonged slide.
All this, and what followed, occurred in a split second. Without slamming the brakes, I began to slow due to relieving the cruise control. At the same time, a Ford Explorer appeared on my left rear quarter in the passing lane of traffic.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the Explorer experience the same little shudder that I had gone through microseconds earlier. Then, the Explorer began to pass me and drift toward me at the same time. As I was already slowing, I began to pull into the emergency lane without braking too much, while at the same time the Ford began to twist and go into a slide right in front of me.
My mind immediately went into hyper-drive. I could see every possible outcome, but the one that scared me was if the Explorer continued off the road and began flipping and then flipped onto me as there was no way that I could stop in time.
They say your life passes before your eyes in those moments before imminent death, but I must not have been destined to die because all I could see was the lives of my wife and my two daughters.
Thanks to God, the Explorer did not flip back onto the road, but it did flip several times. The occupants of the Explorer survived and everything turned out okay.
The moral:
- take nothing for granted – everything you do has consequences
- be attentive – your life can and does change “in a split second”
- don’t drive in the rain with your cruise control on – you give up control in exchange for convenience
-
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