Get a clue - you are responsible for your life!
Do you remember the little old lady in the Wendy’s commercial? The one that was always asking everyone, “Where’s the beef?” Well, I’m going to tell you! Are you ready? O.K. Here’s the beef – you are responsible for your life!
You choose your life and how it will be lived
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You choose your physical condition – yes, I know that some people are genetically blessed or cursed, depending on your viewpoint. But your genetics are not an excuse to wallow in self-pity while wishing and hoping your were in better shape. I have found that people will remain in whatever condition that they are currently in until that condition becomes so uncomfortable either mentally, physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually that they can no longer tolerate it. I am not saying that you will ever be a world-class athlete, but is that your ultimate goal? Or do you wish to be able to extend your life and the quality of it? Get off the couch, get out of the kitchen, turn the TV off – exercise, play, garden, walk, jog, play a sport, take up a hobby, play with your kids/grandkids – but do something! You are not a human-being, you are a human-doing.
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You choose your level of financial prosperity – if you don’t like your financial situation, then go to the bathroom and scream at the person staring back at you in the mirror. Edison said, and I am paraphrasing, “If a man did all that he was capable of, then he would literally astound himself.” Are you astonished with your accomplishments? The sad thing is that even though we are all capable of “astounding ourselves”, we don’t because it looks like work and effort will be involved.
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You choose your outlook on life – are you a grump, grouch or nay-sayer? You can change, if you want to. How many financially successful people, who did not inherit their money, do you know who have a pessimistic attitude? For me, the answer is zero. You simply cannot be inspiring and motivating to others while bemoaning your condition in life. People will not buy anything from this kind of person. Not products – Not services – Not ideas. Read about people who have overcome hardships and obstacles to achieve success in their lives. Fill your mind with quality information and knowledge. Sometimes changing your friends, associates or surroundings is the answer. But do something different if you want things to be different. You cannot progress and remain the same. Change requires effort.
Bad things happen to everyone
I know for a fact that “bad” things have occurred in your life. Well guess what, I know this because “bad” things happen in everyone’s life. It’s called LIFE – and it requires your active participation.
Most people spend their lives blaming someone else for their lot in life. Maybe we should all have a “pity” party and moan and groan to each other about how bad, hard or difficult our situation is.
The fact is that if there is one person who has faced the same hardships (or even worse hardships) as the ones that you face and they were able to overcome those trials, then you do not have a valid argument for wallowing in self-pity. If they succeeded then you can too. How?
- Make up your mind to overcome – the first step is the hardest step, but you only have to take it one time. It is also the most rewarding step because with that step, you realize that you can accomplish the next step. You will begin to rebuild your life into the kind of life you want, one step at a time. The key is to make progress daily. No matter how small that progress is. Eventually you will be where you want to be.
- Establish or find a support system – find a group of like-minded individuals (people who share the same issues as you). Learn when and where they meet. Go to their meetings. Sit in. Become accustomed and participate. Tortured souls typically find peace with each other because they can relate. Allow yourself to be helped, then in turn help another.
- Share your experience – Once you’ve crossed the abyss, give something back. Record your thoughts and share them. Look for opportunities to listen and be available to those who remind you of your former self. It is when we are giving that we are truly human.
The potential of creating better habits
Daylle Deanna Schwartz doesn’t take any crap – not anymore. She decided to create better habits for herself and has parlayed that decision into a successful writing career. Her blog, lessons from a recovering doormat, is inspiring, motivating and empowering. If you need to kick-start your life, then take a look at some of her articles. You’ll probably want to buy one of her books as well.
Daylle tagged me to participate in her “Creating Better Habits” challenge. I am honored that she asked and the following is my contribution.
The Rut
A little over a year ago (Oct. 14. 2006, to be exact), I decided to create a better life for myself. It’s amazing how a pivotal date can stick in your mind, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I had and still have a good life, but I was wallowing in the rut of a high-paying union job. Great pay, fantastic benefits, okay work, NO CHALLENGE – NO FULFILLMENT. Plants can’t live in a rut and neither will you – you die on the inside.
The “Aha” moment
My good friend, Scott Kay and I were discussing the then-recent purchase of Myspace for an amount in excess of half a billion dollars, when I asked Scott, “Why don’t we do something like that?” He responded, “Okay”. That moment will be burned in my mind forever, because it changed my life.
We had an idea
Scott and I came up with an idea for an internet business. The strange thing was that neither of us knew anything about the internet. In fact, I had only recently bought a computer and had not even been on the internet in over six years. I guess that we are “intelligently ignorant” as Zig Ziglar would call it. We are like the bumble bee who doesn’t know that he’s not supposed to be able to fly.
The changes
Having a life-altering thought is easy. Changing your life is not. It requires changing yourself, which is something that people naturally avoid. I began by creating better habits, like:
- changing my mind – I spend every spare minute reading. Internet technology, blogs, internet commerce, motivation, business, legal information, SEO, social networking, marketing, promotion, packaging, networking and much more – believe me, YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
- attempting new things – I had no idea how to create a web site or what a blog was, but I kept reading about how I needed one, so I started a blog on one of the free hosted platforms in order to get the feel of it. It felt good – Yes, I am addicted.
- avoiding negative people – when we started, it was all a big joke to the people that we worked with. We would hear comments like, “How’s that little internet thing coming along?” or “How’s that shoulder thing working out for you?” Now, it’s a different story, we are getting a lot of press and lot more orders. Now, people stop us and ask, “Are you selling stock in your company yet?” or “When you start hiring, remember me”.
- testing myself – it is amazing when you realize how much you can accomplish when you are passionate about something. Sleep is for sissies – at least that is what I keep telling myself. We’ve had so many orders for the Rotater lately that we don’t have the luxury to sleep. That is, if we expect to maintain excellent customer service. And we do!
- not taking “No” personally – some people don’t understand the concept of the Rotater or how it can help them. That’s not a problem for me, because those who reject it are in the minority and I know that it is not an indictment of me or my abilities. I just keep plugging along because I know that we are helping people regain their quality of life.
The result
I am tired, overworked, excited, stressed, stretched, learning, growing – and I absolutely love it. I am having the time of my life. How long will it last? As long as I am willing to maintain good habits.
Thanks
Thanks again, Daylle. I didn’t realize until I began, how much I needed to write this article. What a release.
Tag, your it
I would like to tag:
- Brad Baggett – my good friend and a phenomenal connector. He “knows” people and can put you in touch with people that can help you – a networker “par excellence”.
- Eric Sanders – another good friend with a sense of humor that is so similar to mine, that it is scary. Strong opinions and willing to share as well as defend them. A real “idea” man.
- Tristan Loo – I’ve read some of Tristan’s writings and have been impressed with his style and substance. Recently, I had the pleasure to read “Lucky You!”, an article that he had published in a sweet self-help magazine entitled GOING BONKERS. As usual, it was great.
- Stephen Hopson - a good friend and constant inspiration. He is one of the best networkers that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing
Tell us all how you’ve created better habits. Anyone who feel compelled to share, go to Daylle’s site and check out the rules and join the fun. The more the merrier.
Life lessons from six feet under
Okay, maybe I should say ten feet under, because that’s how deep my basement is and today, my wife and I have been cleaning and organizing the basement. I don’t know if it’s because:
- my wife’s pregnant with our third child (a boy to go with our two beautiful daughters) and has decided to start the nesting ritual a little early this time (we’re due in February)
- there was so much junk that we just avoided going down there
- it was time to reclaim the portion of our basement that we use as a garage and actually park a vehicle in it
Regardless of the motivations, we spent most of the day cleaning, stacking, packing, hauling and discarding our junk. But in the midst of all this domestic industry, inspiration hit me with a few lessons for life.
Life lesson 1: We all have too much junk in our lives
As I was looking around at all the stuff that was cluttering our basement, I wondered, “why do I still have all this useless junk?” I was looking at physical junk, but I was thinking emotional junk.
Why do we insist on dragging useless emotional baggage with us throughout our lives?
- Is it really important to remember who wronged us in high school / college / our last job?
- Why do we spend so much time worrying about what people think about us?
- Why spend any time worrying at all?
Here’s an idea, let’s get rid of our emotional junk. You know what your junk is. You don’t need it. It does you no good to hang on to it and it provides no benefit to you. Let it go and be free.
Here’s an affirmation that helps me: “I release all negative emotions”. I repeat this to myself several times when I realize that I am obsessing about some kind of emotional junk. Try it.
Life lesson 2: Junk expands to fill the space available
Looking around our basement, I wondered, “where does all this crap come from?” When you have the room, you tend to keep things just in case you need them. I pretty sure that I’m never going to need an extra 4 wire dryer hookup again, but I’ve got an extra one in the basement.
When I had less room for storage, I had less junk. That’s amazing.
If you don’t keep your mind busy with worthwhile projects, books and adventures then you have created the perfect place to store and nurture all your emotional junk. When your mind is hard at work, there is no time or place for that crap, so it disappears.
Use your mind as it was intended – a problem solving machine and not as an incubator for future, imaginary troubles.
Ask your self this question when the emotional junk starts piling up: “Do I need more of this crap in my life?” Instead, focus on filling your mind with thoughts and ideas that are of a constructive, rather than a destructive nature.
Life lesson 3: Cleaning up your junk is a lot easier with help
I cleaned our basement last year. It took me about a week, by myself. With my wife’s help, we almost finished today, and we will complete the job tomorrow.
You can clean the junk out of your life quite a bit easier if you can find someone to help you. A friend, spiritual leader, a mentor, a support group, your spouse or a counselor. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Would you help those you care about? I’m sure that someone feels the same way about you.
Sometimes just letting others know that you have the junk is enough. Talk about it – after all it’s just junk and you don’t really need it, do you?
Three little lies that are limiting your potential
If you have ever been to circus or fair that had an elephant act, then you were probable awed by the strength and power of these incredible animals. What you may not have realized is that these powerful creatures are often restrained by a small piece of rope that attaches their leg to a small stake that is driven into the ground.
You’ve got to wonder, “why don’t these behomeths rip the stake out of the ground?” “Why don’t the just tear the rope apart and take off?”
Mental restraint
The reason that they don’t use their power to free themselves is because they can’t. As a baby elephant, they were chained to a long metal rod, which was driven deeply into the ground. No matter how hard they pulled, they could not free themselves. As time went on, they pulled less and less. Eventually, the elephants understood that they could not free themselves.
The rope is unbreakable
After this point, it becomes only a matter of attaching something to their foot and fastening the other end to something in the ground. These fragile elements have become enough to subdue even the strongest elephant.
It is no longer the strength of the bindings that restrain the elephant, but it is the strength of the belief that the bindings restrain them that keeps them from roaming as they desire.
Our beliefs limit us
Our beliefs, like those of the elephants are very powerful. Sometimes they are the “little lies” (that we tell ourselves) that restrain us and keep us from reaching our potential.
1. The “I’m not educated enough” lie
This one is a classic that simply will not hold up under examination. Many great men and women in every area from science to politics to industry, have had limited or no formal education. People like:
- Thomas Edison
- Henry Ford
- Andrew Carnegie
- Dave Thomas
It is not really how much intelligence that you have that is important, but how you use what you’ve got that makes the difference. We make two basic erroneous assumptions with respect to education and intelligence:
- we typically overestimate the intelligence of other people
- we usually underestimate our own level of intelligence
Case in point: after I got married, my wife needed to finish graduate school. She was pursuing a master’s degree while I had visions of attaining a Ph.D. It became a simple matter of economics:
- she would finish school and get her masters degree
- I would get a job to pay the tuition and bills
- I would return to school later
Anyway, I learned that a local manufacturing facility was in need of help in their maintenance department. Since I had experience as both a auto mechanic and shop owner, I applied for the job and found out that the hiring process involved a thorough examination of both your mental aptitude and mechanical skills.
Anyway, I passed the tests and was given a job. I only found out later that several hundred people had been tested and rejected for a handful of jobs. My point: I had no idea that my skills were in demand because I had never really tried to market them. I had underestimated my abilities as so many people do. I thought that everyone knew the same things that I knew.
This view that “I’m not educated enough” is a wicked little lie that we use to justify our standing in the herd of mediocrity. The truth is that most people never tap into their mental powers because they are satisfied to be members of the great, vast, middle class. And that’s okay! Just be honest with yourself and admit that you have mentally tied yourself by this “little lie.”
2. The “I’m too old / you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” lie
If you believe this then you have obviously not watched the “Dog Whisperer”. Cesar Millan literally has those old, untrainable dogs eating out of his hand as well as doing a number of other previously “un-doable” things.
If you lost your present job tomorrow, would you limit yourself to searching only for jobs that are exactly like your present one? If that is the case, then you probably won’t find a new job because no two jobs are exactly alike and you’ve already stated that you are too old to learn a new skill.
You can see how ludicrous this philosophy really is. We can learn and we actively engage in increasing our knowledge base in those areas that:
- we enjoy – our hobbies and pastimes
- are mandatory – required for our present job
The sad truth is that what you know today will be obsolete tomorrow. There will be fewer and fewer factory and manual labor jobs as our economy transforms itself from an industrial / manufacturing powerhouse to an information and technology driven giant.
I am not here to debate the rightness or wrongness of the situation, I only want you to understand that in order to survive in tomorrow’s marketplace, you must embrace change and the associated need to learn new skills.
Unless you’ve got a firm date with St. Peter or that other guy, my advice is to shuck the “I’m too old lie” and get busy increasing you brain power and knowledge base. Challenge yourself to see what you can accomplish.
3. The “I’m waiting for: a) my ship to come in or b) to hit the lottery” lie
I am never really sure what ship these people are talking about. It’s always some vague idea or plan that is going to miraculously materialize some time in the future.
What do you think your chances of being killed in an airplane crash are? I’m not talking about an airplane crash in which you are a passenger. I’m talking about an airplane falling out of the sky and crashing into you while you are reeling in a world record largemouth bass as you are sitting in your brand new bass boat. Pretty slim, huh? Truth be known, the odds of the thing with boat happening are better than the odds that you will hit the lottery.
In fact you have a better chance of being struck by lightning multiple times than hitting the lottery. The insidious part is that even if you hit the lottery, you stand an 80 % of being bankrupt within five years. 80%!
This is a horrible “little lie” that beats you down, even if you win.
These three “little lies” are like the little rope that restricts the massive elephant. We can break free if we try – but our beliefs have convinced us that there is no use in resisting.
What’s really holding you back – the lie or the belief in the lie?
Obstacles and fears: the filters of success
How many times have you heard someone say that they had the original idea for some “hot”, new product, service or web application? The chances are pretty good that they did have the original idea or one very similar to it. So:
- What happened?
- Why did their version of the idea “die on the vine”?
- Why are they not reaping the harvest of their “original” idea?
The quick and dirty answer
The quick and dirty answer is that having ideas is easy, whereas implementing those ideas is not. Please note that I did not say that the activation of their idea is hard. I merely said that it was not easy – not easy in the sense that there is work to be done. But I did not say that the work would be difficult.
Difficulty is a matter of opinion
People tend to associate difficulty with any task that is awkward or time consuming. Almost anything new to you will be awkward at first but this does not mean that it is difficult for you. It only means that there is a learning curve involved, which will consume some of your time.
Learning to walk as a child was both awkward and time consuming, but you did not give up. You tried, you fell, you tried, you stumbled, you fell and this repeated over and over until you became proficient at walking. The same things occurred when you learned to ride a bicycle, swim or drive a car.
Learning anything new takes time. How much time? It depends on a number of variables:
- your desire to learn – do you want to learn or is it being forced on you?
- your motivation to learn – why do you want to learn this new thing?
- your determination to learn – how badly do you want to learn?
It’s up to you
You can and will do what you want to do in most cases. I can hear some people saying that they would rather be doing this job or pursuing that lifestyle. My response is, “then why aren’t you?”
And typically I get a list of obstacles and fears. Obstacles are those things that stand between you and the realization of you dreams. Obstacles can be:
1. A lack of “know how” – you don’t know what to do, what’s involved or where to start on your big idea. This obstacle is easy to overcome in theory. You only have to find the information and then apply it to your situation.
In practice it is time consuming. And because it is time consuming, it is confused with being difficult. Well here’s a clue – the difficulty may lie in you having to tear yourself away from you favorite sitcom, but the learning part is a piece of cake because you are way more intelligent than you give yourself credit for being.
The difficulty is being determined by you attitude to the time you must allocate to acquiring the information and not by your aptitude which for most people is being underutilized.
2. A lack of funding – again it seems difficult, but when you “break it down”, you may change you mind.
If you have equity in you home, then getting a home equity line of credit or a 2nd mortgage is really easy. The difficulty is in putting your home on the line.
If you have a 401k retirement account or a life insurance policy, then you can borrow against them. This is not hard to do.
You may have a “rich” friend or relative who is willing to invest in your idea or lend you the money outright. The hard part is having the humility to ask.
Obstacles stand between you and your goal. There are ways around, over, under or through them. It’s up to you to figure out how to eliminate or minimize them.
Fears are mental roadblocks
1. We are afraid of what others think – if you have a great idea and don’t launch, then people are going to say that you lack courage, that you are not committed. If you do “dive in”, then someone will say that you are reckless, that you lack “good” judgment.
The bottom line is who cares what someone else thinks? You can’t please everyone anyway. Anytime that you try to move away from the “herd”, you are inviting criticism and scrutiny because if you can be successful, then what does that say about the rest of the “herd”?
Do not underestimate the “power of the herd”. The status quo is a powerful motivating force that opposes all change. But in reality, if you want to be successful, can you remain in the herd? It’s a rhetorical question – the answer is no.
To be successful, you must think, speak and act like successful people. That alone will cause you to alienate yourself from the drones of sameness.
2. We are afraid to get out of our comfort zone – whatever it is that we are doing right now is a known situation and that makes it comfortable. Anything new will be uncomfortable.
But you can refuse to think of your discomfort in terms of anxiety or stress. Instead, see it for what it is – the butterflies of excitement. It’s the “pump” before a big gave or a big presentation. It’s the thrill and anticipation of attempting something new and wonderful. It’s all in how you choose to look at the situation.
The filters of success
Obstacles and fears are the outer and inner roadblocks to success. They are the filters that stop so many people. They are the reasons that so few ( 3–5% ) ever reach financial independence. They are the excuses that keep the “herd” of mediocrity full. These are the reasons that you hear people say, “I had that idea first”.
Decisiveness, dedication & determination: a 3-dimensional success story
Mr. G is an extraordinary individual. He is an expert craftsman, a highly skilled technician, a college instructor, an entrepreneur, a business partner and my friend. He is active and responsible on all these fronts professionally while at the same time being very conscious of his family’s needs and his responsibilities to them.
Recently, Mr. G has become something of a 3-dimensional success as well. Since the fall of last year, he has been able to reduce his weight by over 80 pounds. Being his friend, I have been able to see his progress and how he tackled this tremendous task. Never once have I heard him complain about the foods he is missing, the extreme effort this has taken, or the time he has devoted to exercising.
Because of his attitude and effort, I have used the term 3-D as an acronym to describe the characteristics he has exhibited during his journey to a healthier lifestyle. The three D’s that set him apart are:
1. Decisiveness
Mr. G is a decisive person. At some point last fall, Mr. G decided that he would change his lifestyle. Now any of you who have embarked on journey of change know that there are many obstacles along the way to success. However, the first step is never taken by many because of they fail to make a decision or they fail to remain committed to that decision. The first step in obtaining any goal is deciding that your goal is what you want and that it is worthy of your pursuit.
Mr. G decided to change his lifestyle. Notice that the initial step of his journey began in his mind with a decision. Change your mind first and then your life will change. Your thoughts determine both the quantity and quality of your life.
2. Dedication
Mr. G dedicated himself to learning how to be successful in his endeavor.
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He did not leave things to chance.
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He did not approach his goal haphazardly.
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He obtained the necessary information from experts in the areas of nutrition, physical fitness, exercise and motivation.
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He dedicated himself to acquiring and using the knowledge necessary to distinguish himself from the masses who seek to become healthy and fail.
Once he became more educated, Mr. G dedicated himself to developing a plan of attack with subgoals and ways to monitor his progress along the way. He has left nothing to chance. He knows when, what and how to eat. He knows how many calories a certain food has and if it is eaten in combination with another food, how it will affect his insulin levels and thus fat production and storage. He dedicated himself to starting and maintaining an exercise program because he knew this was a mandatory step in the realization of his goals.
Mr. G dedicated himself to obtaining his goals and having produced in his mind the vision of his future self, has not wavered along the path to success.
3. Determination
Determination is:
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the unwillingness to quit, falter or give up
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keeping your eye on the goal and forging onward
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unstoppable
Mr. G has made steady progress.
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I have never heard him complain once of the effort this must have taken.
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I’ve never heard him complain about what he could or could not eat.
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I’ve never heard him complain that he has to get up a 4:00 a.m. to go workout.
Mr. G’s determination has been an inspiration to me and to many more that have witnessed his progress.
Mr. G decided that he wanted to be healthier, he devoted himself to learning how to become healthier, he applied his knowledge to the acquisition of his goals and he remains determined today.
Last night, a mutual friend commented to me, “You know, Mr. G seems to hold his head higher. He seems to stand taller.” I agreed with him and I realized that Mr. G may be smaller on the outside, but he is much, much bigger on the inside.
He is a real-life, 3-D success story.
Success is complicated - but it’s not hard
I consider myself to be successful. I have:
- a very nice, custom home
- a medium sized horse farm
- a loving and supportive wife
- two daughters who adore their daddy
- a couple of rapidly growing businesses
What makes my level of success extraordinary? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! As I look back at the steps I’ve taken to arrive at my current position, I’ve come to realize that everything that I’ve done, could have been done by anyone.
Why then have I been able to reach this current level of success while others who are fully capable of enjoying the same success, have not? This bothers me, so I’ve been analyzing the reasons that produce the difference.
What I’ve come to understand is that the difference in success and mediocrity is due to the complications involved. Enjoying a successful life is complicated – not difficult. This is an important difference.
For example, suppose that you have a “great” idea (regular people like you and I have “great” ideas all the time) – what do you do next? Instead of diving right in and doing some research to gage the viability of their “great” idea, most people will:
- think of all the reasons that it won’t work.
- “I just don’t know where to start” – It doesn’t matter where you start, just start. Get on the internet or go to the local library and find out if there is something similar that is available. If there is, then determine how it is different than your idea. What can you do to make it better? Doing is better than not doing – DO SOMETHING!
- “I just don’t have the time” – Why not? Think of how silly that sounds, “I just don’t have the time to be successful”. What you really mean is that you won’t make the time to DO the things that are necessary for your idea to become a reality.
- “I’m not sure that I can do it” – Here’s a clue, no one is absolutely sure of anything, except death. Do you want to still be wondering “if you could have done it” on your death bed? I can’t think of anything more depressing.
- “I don’t have the skills needed” – If you are “smart” enough to have a great idea, then you are fully qualified to develop your great idea and make it a reality.
- “I’m just not the business type” – So what. You can become whatever it is that you need to be. The problem is that the need has never been so great as to force you to become what you can be. YOU must rise to the occasion. YOU must get out of your comfort zone. YOU must do something differently is you want to achieve different results.
- “What do I do first?” – Anything but not everything. Break your dream down into steps or processes, then break these down even further. You don’t have to do everything today – but you do need to do something each day that contributes to the achievement of your dream. When you sit down to eat, you don’t say, “There’s no way that I can fit all that food in my mouth at one time.” You begin to eat by taking one bite at a time. Over the course of your meal, you will consume what you need to sustain your body. Just concentrate on “one bite at a time”.
- translated, this means that it is easier to do nothing and be average than to do a little more and enjoy an extraordinary life.
- nothing about success is hard when you break it down into logical steps and processes. If you don’t do this, then it looks like an un-doable mountain, that is just too big and difficult for “little ole me” to attempt.
Okay, I think I’ve gotten it figured out:
- It’s complicated to become successful (ie – there are a lot of steps that must be take) but not hard ( doing the individual steps are not difficult).
- Being successful requires “doing”.
- It’s easier to do nothing and be average.
MEDIOCRITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!
What are you doing to “deserve” success?
It seems that everyone wants to be successful in the slackest sense of the word. Simply meaning, that if there is no effort required, then most would say, “yeah, I’d like to be successful”. However, this is contrary to all common sense. Winston Churchhill said, “…victory comes only to those who work long and hard, who are willing to pay the price in blood, sweat, and tears. These deserve victory.”
- Do you deserve success? Why? What do you do that makes you deserving?
- What have you done that distinguishes you from the crowd? Success latches on to distinction and uniqueness. If you want to be successful, then you must be different from 95% of the population, because that is the percentage that is not financial independent. Be unique.
- What do you do that causes you to stand “head and shoulders” above your coworkers? Do you strive to do your best at every opportunity or do you do the same things that your coworkers do? Why would you be singled-out for advancement if you are just “keeping up with the Jones” in your work habits? Nothing is free. If you want more, then you must do more. It’s as simple as that.
- Why should John Q. Public buy your product? Is it cheaper? Is it better? Does it have more than one use? Do you promote it everywhere you go? Is it your passion? Does the world know about it?
- Why should your boss or supervisor recognize your talent and ability instead of someone else’s? The attitude of “doing more than you are paid to do” was first preached by Napoleon Hill (who has been cited by more millionaires as the author most influential in their success) and is still relevant. If you want to be promoted, give them a reason to promote you.
I once had a supervisor that said all people could be classified in one of four ways:
1. CAN’T DO / WON’T DO — These are people who have neither the ability nor the desire to perform.
2. CAN DO / WON’T DO — These people have the ability to perform but because of a lack of motivation or because of a bad attitude, refuse to perform.
3. CAN’T DO / WILL DO — These people do not have the necessary skills to perform, however this does not deter them from trying to perform in an excellent fashion. They attempt, but fail.
4. CAN DO / WILL DO — These are the cream of the crop. They have both the mandatory skills and the motivation to perform their responsibilities in an excellent fashion. This is where you must be if you intend to be successful.
As Rick Pitino says in his book SUCCESS IS A CHOICE, “…deserve success. Outwork everybody in sight. Sweat the small stuff. Sweat the big stuff. Go the extra mile. But whatever it takes, put your heart and soul into everything you do. Leave it all out on the court.”
“SUCCESS IS A CHOICE” is a great book, by the way.
Until you are willing to go beyond what is required of you, you have no right to expect to succeed, because you are only doing the minimum required to maintain your current state. You are in the rut of mediocrity because that is the level of your performance. To get more, you must give more:
- give more time
- give more effort
- give better effort
- provide better ideas
- in some way, shape or form you must do something to rise above the “least common denominator”
The “least common denominator” means average. If you are average, then expect to be treated as average.
- Expect to make the same amount of money as the people you associate with.
- Expect to enjoy the same benefits as everyone else.
- Expect to wonder what you are going to do when you retire or
- Expect to work till you die.
Are you a CAN DO / WILL DO type of person? Do you have the necessary skills to perform in an excellent manner? If not, then decide that you will acquire them. Do you have the skills, but allow a bad attitude or something else to hinder you from performing your best?
Remember the cream rises to the top:
- Whatever is on top - is seen!
- Whatever is on top - is valued!!
- Whatever is on top - is highly sought after!!!
- Whatever is on top - is quickly acquired!!!!
Whining and complaining will not solve your problems
GUEST WRITER: Scott Kay – inventor of the Rotater
I stopped at an old farm house to ask directions from an old man who was sitting in his rocking chair. He was out on his porch with his dog. As I approached, the dog, who was just laying there, let out a little yelp and then a whimper. It didn’t sound like it was directed at me, besides it wasn’t a growl or anything.
Anyway, I asked the man how to get back to the interstate and then the dog made the same ill-sounding noise. The old man paid no attention to the dog and politely charted me a course back to the interstate. Just as the old man finished giving me directions, the dog once again let out that awful, whimpering sound. At this point, I asked the man, “What’s wrong with your dog?”
The old man replied, “He’s just laying on a nail.” To which I responded, “Well, why doesn’t he move?” The old man just sat back in his rocker and said, “Well, it hurts bad enough to whimper and whine, but it’s not bad enough to do anything about it.”
This is true of so many people. They whine and complain about where they are, about what they don’t have, and about how bad things are. But very seldom, do any of these people DO a single thing to improve their own situation.
It’s very easy to do something, but it’s just a whole lot easier to do nothing. It doesn’t matter what you think your your problem is:
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If you are fat, then go on a diet
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If you are skinny, then eat a biscuit
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If you are short, then get a ladder
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If you are tall, then kneel down
Whatever it is, do something! Too many people are waiting for someone else to do it for them. People want to just wait for their ship to come it. I say, “swim out to it.” If your ship is big enough, then it won’t be able to get close to shore anyway.
The point is – If you want things to change, then you must change. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will get the same result that you’ve always gotten.
The choice is yours. Accept responsibility for your life. You put yourself in the position that you are in and you are the only person who going to get you out of that position. But here is the kicker – YOU are the only person that can keep you in the situation that you are in.
I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to hear this and you probably disagree with me, but that’s okay, you can be wrong. But, be absolutely honest with yourself – what has whining and complaining ever done to better your way of life?
Reevaluate your life.
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What do you think about? – You become what you think about.
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How do you talk and what do you talk about? – Improve your vocabulary and discuss issues that are important to you.
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What do you do? – Your life depends on what YOU do.
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Who do you associate with? Are they successful? – You become like those you hang around, that is a fact!
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How do you use your time? – Hanging out and watching TV won’t get you where YOU want to be.
Now ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now, moving me closer to where I want to be?” If the answer is no, then don’t think it, say it, do it or associate with it.
How long are you going to be like the old dog? How long before the situation becomes so uncomfortable that you stop complaining about your problems and get up and do something? Take charge of YOUR life today.
To change your life, you must want to change and then take action
Often you hear people say, “I want to change”. The truth of the matter, however, is that this is seldom true. People do not like change for the most part because it forces them out of their comfort zone. And once a person is out of their comfort zone, there is no telling what may happen.
One of the first and maybe greatest obstacles to change is the fear of the unknown. When a person is forced to change by outside forces (loss of job, relationship ends, etc.), there is mostly:
- resentment
- opposition
But, as we all know, these things occur regularly, so our options are to:
- deal with it
- avoid it
Avoiding the situation is not really an option because this change has been thrust upon us by forces beyond our control. We cannot keep going to a job that no longer employs us, nor can we maintain a relationship that no longer includes us. This leaves our only real option of dealing with it.
Internal, self-motivated change can be caused by a number of things, but usually it is the result of a realization that there is something about ourselves with which we are no longer content.
This is often the cause of dieting and exercise programs, continuing our education or beginning a program of enlightenment. This is the best kind of change, but also the most difficult to maintain because the motivation for changing resides within us and therefore we control how strong the motivation is.
This motivation is often attacked by our friends and relatives and manifests itself with responses like:
- “I like you just the way you are”
- “Do you know how (long, hard, insert adjective) it going to take to do that?”
- “Don’t you think you’re a little old for that?”
- “What are our friends/relatives going to think”
These well-meaning people, are in reality only trying to maintain the stability of their own lives. If you continue to pursue your path of changing and you are successful, then you force them to examine their own lives and as we’ve noted, people will avoid changing if it is a viable option.
If you want to change then you will be in the process of changing. If you are not in the process of changing then you don’t really want to change, you are simply toying with the idea. If you are toying with the idea of changing some aspect of your life, then make some lists:
- List all the pros and cons of changing
- List all the possible consequences that this change may cause
- List all the people affected by this change
- List all the possible objections you will hear
- Finally, look within yourself and ask, “Will this change contribute to my happiness?”
If you truly want to change some part of your life then you will take action. Get started today and be in the process of changing your life and your future.
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External Rotation with The Rotater
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