Today Matters
Today matters. It is important. Why?
1. You are alive vs. the alternative
You are a living, functioning and vital part of the world. You are needed and necessary. No one can do the things that you do in the unique way that you do them.
2. Today provides new opportunities – you can change and make changes
You can make changes – today. Yesterday’s mistakes are gone. Today is yesterday’s “do-over”. Use the opportunity of today to make corrections and alterations, so that your tomorrows will be like you want them to be.
3. Today gives you the chance to say I’m sorry for past wrongs you’ve committed
Amend mistakes. Apologize for misdeeds – then get busy living in today.
4. Today is a new starting point for the rest of your life
Today is a great day. Focus on the moment. Yesterday is gone, you cannot change it. The best you can do about yesterday is comment on it. Don’t waste your time and opportunities focusing your attention on the things that you cannot alter.
Today is a great day. Use it to your advantage. Tomorrow will be the result of what you do today. Therefore, today will always be more important than tomorrow because tomorrow owes it’s existence to today.
If today was your last day:
- Would you go to work or would you pursue the things that you are passionate about?
- What would be your greatest regret - the things that you did or didn’t do?
- Would you give someone “the finger” for cutting you off in traffic or would you let it ride?
- Would you spend your last day watching television or would you take a look out of your window and see reality?
- Would you call your mama or dad?
- Would you right any wrongs, say “I’m sorry”?
- Would you yell at your kids for tracking mud through the house or hold them tightly and make sure they know how you feel about them?
- Would you obsess about what others think about you?
- Would you be thankful that you pursued security instead of your dreams?
- Would you be at the bar instead of with your family?
- Would you work overtime?
Today is a great day because it is your day. You decide what it will be. Will today be the beginning of a new and better you? Will today be the same as yesterday?
Use today to provide yourself with a better tomorrow.
What’s on your life’s “to-do” list?
Most people are wondering, “what is a life to-do list?” Basically, you sit down and make a list of all the things that you would like to do or accomplish before you die.
- climb a mountain
- become president
- jump out of an airplane
- make a million dollars
There is a recent movie that takes a hard look at the advantages of creating such a list. It is entitled “The Bucket List”, and it stars Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.
What’s on your “to do” list?
Nothing? For most, that is the answer. To them, this is a silly notion and certainly not worth their precious time. The truly sad thing is that these same people will waste a good portion of their lives “watching” fairy tale productions (television) of others, doing extraordinary things with their lives and all the time they’re thinking, “I’d really like to be doing that”.
You are a goal seeking organism
People are happier and more productive when they have a goal to pursue. I believe that this is the reason that so many people lead lives of “quiet desperation”. There is an inner conflict between what they want to do and what they believe they should be doing or are capable of doing.
When you have a goal, you move with purpose. Your life and actions are calculated and planned so that you can move closer to your desired outcome. Life has meaning – because you have created it’s meaning. And along the way:
- you will do extraordinary things
- visit fantastic places
- meet unique people
- discover new and ancient cultures
- learn diversity
- create a lifetime of stories for your children and grandchildren
- you will be envied for having the guts to live life on your terms
- you will live your life as life is meant to be lived (not observed from the “easy” chair)
What do you “want” to do?
You get to choose what goes on your life’s to-do list. Let your mind run free. Take a few minutes to write down all of your dreams and hopes. This simple act can be the beginning of your fantastic life.
Regrets
As a middle-aged man, I’ve got as much life left to live as I’ve lived already. I’ve still got a lot of things left on my “to-do” list. But, as I look back at my life so far, it’s not the things that I’ve done that I regret. It is all the things that I haven’t done, that I wish that I had done, that causes me the most sorrow.
When your life is over, will you have done all the things that you wish you had done? Whose fault will it be? Get busy working on your “to-do” list. Life is about doing – not watching!
Mama’s commonsense approach to excellent interpersonal skills
Life is about interaction. With rare exception, everyone interacts on a daily basis. You deal with your family, bosses, subordinates, customers (clients, patients, readers, etc), coworkers, friends, enemies, strangers and more everyday.
How would you characterize these exchanges? Do you enjoy interacting with others? Do they enjoy interacting with you?
Here are a few ideas that I feel (and my Mama taught) are common sense solutions for many of the problems that we face when dealing with others.
1. Smile at everyone.
This is easy enough to do physically, but we have problems with the mental part. Why should I smile? I don’t feel like smiling.
- Smiling causes others to relax. In a potentially tense situation, your smile may lower everyones blood pressure enough so that problems can be handled rationally. Your smile may even allow your message to be more easily received. Think of how you brace yourself when someone approaches you with a scowl on their face. Are you relaxed or are you thinking, “Oh No, here comes trouble?”
- Smiling helps you relax. Consciously smiling actually changes your attitude. It sounds crazy, but it is a fact. I have discovered that when I am having “bad” or anxious thoughts, if I will stop and think of something that makes me smile, my anxiety level decreases significantly.
- The presence or absence of a smile is the FIRST thing that people notice about others. It tells others that you are friendly and mean no harm.
- Your smile almost always provokes others to smile and thus feel better and be easier to deal with.
- Hint: Smile with your entire face – allow your eyes to “smile” along with your mouth.
2. Your Mama taught you some “magic” words and phrases – use them!
From the time that each of my daughters were born, my wife and I have tried to impress on them the need to use certain words and phrases. We consistently encouraged them and explained why it’s important to use these “magic” words and phrases. As a result, my children are complimented regularly on their manners.
- “Thank You” – does this really need an explanation? Everyone likes to know that they are appreciated – Everyone. I don’t care if it is a waiter refilling your glass or your father giving you a new car. Take the time to say “thank you”. If you think you are too “big and important” to be bothered thanking everyone that does something for you, then you are not really “big and important”.
- “Your welcome” – a proper response to “thank you”. Yes, it is a simple acknowledgment, but necessary nonetheless. Do it.
- “Yes sir”, “Yes ma’am”, “No sir”, “No ma’am” – Old fashioned? Maybe, but mostly it shows respect. You can never expect others to respect you if you fail to demonstrate respect for them. Your demonstration of respect for others reveals your character. People watch and listen to you. You won’t fool them for long – Be respectful.
- “Please” – I don’t care whether you own the business, work in the shipping department or clean the toilets, using “please” will get you more (and more often) than not using it. People resent being ordered around and will usually respond quite readily to a “please.”
- “Excuse me” – Wait for a break in the conversation before interrupting. Need directions? Approach potential help with “excuse me” – works every time.
3. Look ‘em in the eye.
Nothing conveys the message, “you are not important to me”, faster than looking elsewhere when a person is talking to you. When conversing, people look at your eyes to gauge your response to what they are saying. If you are looking at them, then your eye to eye contact tells them that what they are saying is valuable, thus they are valuable to you.
If you want your popularity to increase, then “focus on being focused” on the people you converse with. I guarantee that you will be happily surprised at the result.
4. Stop interrupting.
Interrupting is like the verbal version of pushing someone out of your way so you can get where you are going. It makes you look like the playground bully – because in essence, that’s what you are. It tells others that you are “bigger” and “more important” than they are, so you deserve to be heard first. Worst of all, it’s really, really rude. You won’t gain allies by interrupting them.
5. Don’t “one-up” everyone.
Maybe your cousin does pitch for the San Diego Padres, but my son getting his first hit in little league is what’s important to me. What do you think that your need to “top” every story conveys? Insecurity? Neediness? It is not an attractive trait and it will inhibit your otherwise good attributes. Allow someone else to steal the show sometimes – even if your stories are better.
6. Listen, listen and listen.
The auditory version of making eye contact. People talk with you for a reason. They want to:
- make you aware of something
- explain something to you
- get your feedback
- warn you
- prepare you
- ask your advice
If you are not listening, then you will not hear the message. Sometimes the message is subtle, so you have to listen hard. Conversation is a two-way street. You talk and then you listen. If you are not listening, then you are not in the conversation. Save yourself and others some time. Go get a mirror and talk to it.
7. Initiate and invite conversation.
Take the time to meet and greet others. If you are the “boss”, there is nothing (NO OTHER THING!!!) that you can do, that will produce greater returns for what is invested. Stop and say “hi” to the people who work for you. Ask about their families. Make it a point to know about them or take the time to get to know them.
Again, it tells people that they have value. This is important. When people feel valuable, they act valuable. They do their jobs in a valuable way. The bottom line is that when they feel valuable, they increase your value.
It’s like having clean underwear on.
As I said in the beginning, this is all common sense. The sort of stuff your mama told you when you were a kid. It’s kind of like her always telling you to make sure you’re wearing clean underwear. Her thought was, you never know when you may have to go to the hospital so you want to have clean underwear on. It won’t prevent you from having to go to the hospital, but if you do go, you’ll be prepared.
Most of the time, how you interact with others is just plain, old common sense. Smile, look at them, listen to them, be respectful and show them that they have value. You never know when you might need the “other” person.
Six barriers to successful living
Why haven’t you achieved your potential? Why are others achieving more and better results than you? What’s holding you back? Simple questions – not so simple answers. Here’s a short list of obstacles that prevent you from achieving greatness:
1. You are scapegoating through life.
You have convinced yourself and everyone who will listen that all of your problems are caused by someone else or something else. Everything (at the very least, most things in your mind) are beyond your control.
Man, it depresses me just to write this stuff down. I can’t imagine how someone who truly believes this crap, must feel.
Napoleon said,
“I create the circumstances that affect me.”
This is true. It’s a fact, “stuff” happens to everybody – You are not special. At least, not in that sense. The universe is not picking on you. Crap hits everybody. Make up your mind to deal with it and then deal with it.
Accept responsibility for your actions or more likely your inaction. Decide that you are not going to take it anymore. Then don’t take it anymore. The simple fact that you are reading this is evidence that you are searching for direction. Here it is: You have every right to be successful in life. Make it your quest to soar above your present situation. Once you make a decision and begin to search for answers, the help you need will be revealed.
SOLUTION: Decide to be the master of your destiny or relegate yourself to being pushed around by circumstances beyond your control. Take control of your life. It’s really up to you.
2. It’s all about me – you are self-absorbed.
You know who you are. You get bored when someone else is getting the attention. You have the best stories (we’ve heard you one-up everybody). It’s always all about “you”.
Here is a wake up call: You are boring and dull. The only reason we listen to you is because either we are too nice to walk away or we realize that the politics of the organization we are a part of would be violated.
Your potential is diminished because you don’t understand that you cannot influence others when it’s obvious that you don’t care about them. Zig Ziglar said, “You can get anything you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.”
SOLUTION: In order to help yourself, you must help others. There’s no better long-term strategy to achieving your success. As Dr. Phil would say, “It ain’t about YOU!” Become a listener and a people person. Help others and then help yourself indirectly.
3. You allow others to make your life decisions.
You know how it goes; someone (Mom, Dad, or whoever you deem as influential) says you should do “this or that” with your life. Why? How do they know what you want? Or how you feel?
The family needs you to become a lawyer, or doctor, or accountant, or football star or whatever. “If you want me to pay for your college, then you’ll major in what I tell you to major in”.
To some of us, this seems absurd, but it happens. Really. Here’s a secret, if you are not happy, then you will not be able to make anyone else happy. The only thing that is sure is that by compromising you desires for someone else you will be filled with resentment and hurt.
Eventually, those emotions will be revealed.
SOLUTION: Why not cut to the chase and deal with it now? You’ll be happier in the long run and probably save a heap of money in psychoanalyst fees.
4. You are filled with subconscious self-doubt.
You are filled with doubts and thoughts of inadequacy. You feel un-deserving. If you don’t believe in yourself, then why should I? Or anyone else for that matter?
The short answer is that no one will believe in you. By the simple act of thinking self-deprecating thoughts, you have defeated yourself, regardless of your abilities.
Everyday, average people just like you and me have fantastic, original, creative thoughts and ideas. But just as quickly, they are dismissed and discarded for the simple reason that they must be of no value if a simpleton like you thought of them.
People tend to overestimate the talent, ability and intelligence of others and then compound the problem by underestimating their own attributes.
SOLUTION: Read “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. It is a classic and deserves to be. Learn some meaningful affirmations and use them. Become a true believer – in yourself.
5. Your are afraid.
I am not even going to attempt to list the wide variety of fears that hold people back.
SOLUTION: You must think of fear as the fence that keeps the herd in the pasture of mediocrity. You were not built for mediocrity. You are unique and you have unique abilities – use them.
6. You have no clear goals.
At least you are not alone. Studies and statistics that have been repeated many times prove that only 3–5 percent of the population have a tangible, written set of goals. Remarkably, this is the same percentage of financial independent people in the U.S. and world.
Do you think there is a correlation? It’s a no-brainer.
SOLUTION: Write down your goals and go over them daily. It will change your life.
Life is change and change is life
Change is inevitable. Change is necessary – most of the time. Change can occur in the blink of an eye. Whether you react or respond to change determines whether change is good for you.
Michael Segal’s life was changed in the blink of an eye by the twitch of a finger on a trigger. Michael Segal’s body was affected, but his spirit, his drive and his determination was not. He adapted, he overcame and he flourished. Watch this video and be inspired to be all you can be.
Tags: change, Michael+Segal, inspiration, motivation
Do you have what it takes to succeed?
To hear people talk, you would think that success is a mythological term – something that other people can get, have or acquire, but not themselves. Why not? Why can’t everyone succeed?
While we’re at it, let’s go ahead and admit that we are talking about financial success – that just-out-of-our-reach condition of financial security. The place where income exceeds expenses and results in a surplus of money that provides you with options like:
- driving the type of vehicle you would choose if money was not object
- vacationing when and where you want to
- providing your children with an education that is free of many of the public school distractions
- becoming involved in the community
- living in the neighborhood / city / country of your choice
- sharing your skills
Do you have what it takes to be successful? Ask yourself the following questions, be honest and then decide if you have what it takes.
1. Are you a self-starter?
Successful people take the bull by the horns. They:
- get to work on time (but early is better)
- volunteer to take on the “hard” jobs
- don’t give a crap what everyone else thinks about their desire to “get ahead”
- produce well developed ideas and the plans for implementing them
- don’t stand around the shop / water cooler / coffee machine wasting time discussing their latest dating escapades, the current “hot” sitcom, plans for the weekend or the latest office / shop gossip
- pay attention and they take notes – lots of notes
- are focused on achieving the goal or objective
2. Are you a visionary?
Successful people have a vision and they project a mental picture of the future they desire. When you create a vision of what you want, you automatically begin to formulate the plans to make your vision happen
The difference between the “average joe” and those who acquire financial security is that:
- for the “average joe” this is just a daydream and it is discussed in day-dreamy terms. One day – someday – hopefully – if everything comes together – when my ship comes in – when the kids are gone to college – when I have more time – yada, yada, yada. Let face it, for the “average joe” it “ain’t gonna happen”. That’s why he / she is the “average joe”.
- for the successful person their vision is a destination that they are on the road to arriving at. They complement their vision by have props that continually keep their goal in sight. These are the people who plaster their office / work area with pictures of their dreams. They post encouraging quotes. They read about other successful people. They attempt to motivate others, because in doing so, they keep themselves motivated.
3. Do you have the needed “people skills”?
Successful people understand that “it ain’t about themselves”. Like Zig Ziglar says, “You can have anything in life that you want, if you will help enough other people get what they want”.
Its called the Law of Reciprocity. When you help someone else, this creates a desire in the other person to do something to help you and “even the score”. This desire is not an overt one – it is more of a subconscious emotion. But all successful people recognize that by helping others, you are helping yourself.
Look at all the successful people that you know. How do they interact with others. Do they stand around and wait for other people to “pay homage” to them? I doubt it.
- They are the people you see approaching with their hand out ready to firmly shake your hand.
- They look you in the eye and “lock” on to what you are saying.
- When they speak with you, you get the feeling that you are the most important person in the room.
- They “listen” actively, hear what you are saying and they understand.
- They follow-up. This says that you are important and it demonstrates your importance to them.
- They are open to intelligent input / ideas.
4. Do you think on paper?
This simple concept is probably the most important. All successful people take notes because they are not vain enough to think that they can remember everything. Making notes:
- keeps your eye on the ball – you stay focused on the important stuff and are not sidetracked by the immediate emergency
- allows you to record your ideas
- allows you to schedule your day
- keeps the project moving in the right direction
- allows for follow-up
Is this all that there is to being successful? No way, but it’s a start. If you have these characteristics, then you are on your way. If you don’t have these traits, then I suggest that you begin to acquire them – IF YOU DESIRE FINANCIAL SECURITY!
Get a clue - you are responsible for your life!
Do you remember the little old lady in the Wendy’s commercial? The one that was always asking everyone, “Where’s the beef?” Well, I’m going to tell you! Are you ready? O.K. Here’s the beef – you are responsible for your life!
You choose your life and how it will be lived
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You choose your physical condition – yes, I know that some people are genetically blessed or cursed, depending on your viewpoint. But your genetics are not an excuse to wallow in self-pity while wishing and hoping your were in better shape. I have found that people will remain in whatever condition that they are currently in until that condition becomes so uncomfortable either mentally, physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually that they can no longer tolerate it. I am not saying that you will ever be a world-class athlete, but is that your ultimate goal? Or do you wish to be able to extend your life and the quality of it? Get off the couch, get out of the kitchen, turn the TV off – exercise, play, garden, walk, jog, play a sport, take up a hobby, play with your kids/grandkids – but do something! You are not a human-being, you are a human-doing.
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You choose your level of financial prosperity – if you don’t like your financial situation, then go to the bathroom and scream at the person staring back at you in the mirror. Edison said, and I am paraphrasing, “If a man did all that he was capable of, then he would literally astound himself.” Are you astonished with your accomplishments? The sad thing is that even though we are all capable of “astounding ourselves”, we don’t because it looks like work and effort will be involved.
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You choose your outlook on life – are you a grump, grouch or nay-sayer? You can change, if you want to. How many financially successful people, who did not inherit their money, do you know who have a pessimistic attitude? For me, the answer is zero. You simply cannot be inspiring and motivating to others while bemoaning your condition in life. People will not buy anything from this kind of person. Not products – Not services – Not ideas. Read about people who have overcome hardships and obstacles to achieve success in their lives. Fill your mind with quality information and knowledge. Sometimes changing your friends, associates or surroundings is the answer. But do something different if you want things to be different. You cannot progress and remain the same. Change requires effort.
Bad things happen to everyone
I know for a fact that “bad” things have occurred in your life. Well guess what, I know this because “bad” things happen in everyone’s life. It’s called LIFE – and it requires your active participation.
Most people spend their lives blaming someone else for their lot in life. Maybe we should all have a “pity” party and moan and groan to each other about how bad, hard or difficult our situation is.
The fact is that if there is one person who has faced the same hardships (or even worse hardships) as the ones that you face and they were able to overcome those trials, then you do not have a valid argument for wallowing in self-pity. If they succeeded then you can too. How?
- Make up your mind to overcome – the first step is the hardest step, but you only have to take it one time. It is also the most rewarding step because with that step, you realize that you can accomplish the next step. You will begin to rebuild your life into the kind of life you want, one step at a time. The key is to make progress daily. No matter how small that progress is. Eventually you will be where you want to be.
- Establish or find a support system – find a group of like-minded individuals (people who share the same issues as you). Learn when and where they meet. Go to their meetings. Sit in. Become accustomed and participate. Tortured souls typically find peace with each other because they can relate. Allow yourself to be helped, then in turn help another.
- Share your experience – Once you’ve crossed the abyss, give something back. Record your thoughts and share them. Look for opportunities to listen and be available to those who remind you of your former self. It is when we are giving that we are truly human.
The potential of creating better habits
Daylle Deanna Schwartz doesn’t take any crap – not anymore. She decided to create better habits for herself and has parlayed that decision into a successful writing career. Her blog, lessons from a recovering doormat, is inspiring, motivating and empowering. If you need to kick-start your life, then take a look at some of her articles. You’ll probably want to buy one of her books as well.
Daylle tagged me to participate in her “Creating Better Habits” challenge. I am honored that she asked and the following is my contribution.
The Rut
A little over a year ago (Oct. 14. 2006, to be exact), I decided to create a better life for myself. It’s amazing how a pivotal date can stick in your mind, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I had and still have a good life, but I was wallowing in the rut of a high-paying union job. Great pay, fantastic benefits, okay work, NO CHALLENGE – NO FULFILLMENT. Plants can’t live in a rut and neither will you – you die on the inside.
The “Aha” moment
My good friend, Scott Kay and I were discussing the then-recent purchase of Myspace for an amount in excess of half a billion dollars, when I asked Scott, “Why don’t we do something like that?” He responded, “Okay”. That moment will be burned in my mind forever, because it changed my life.
We had an idea
Scott and I came up with an idea for an internet business. The strange thing was that neither of us knew anything about the internet. In fact, I had only recently bought a computer and had not even been on the internet in over six years. I guess that we are “intelligently ignorant” as Zig Ziglar would call it. We are like the bumble bee who doesn’t know that he’s not supposed to be able to fly.
The changes
Having a life-altering thought is easy. Changing your life is not. It requires changing yourself, which is something that people naturally avoid. I began by creating better habits, like:
- changing my mind – I spend every spare minute reading. Internet technology, blogs, internet commerce, motivation, business, legal information, SEO, social networking, marketing, promotion, packaging, networking and much more – believe me, YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
- attempting new things – I had no idea how to create a web site or what a blog was, but I kept reading about how I needed one, so I started a blog on one of the free hosted platforms in order to get the feel of it. It felt good – Yes, I am addicted.
- avoiding negative people – when we started, it was all a big joke to the people that we worked with. We would hear comments like, “How’s that little internet thing coming along?” or “How’s that shoulder thing working out for you?” Now, it’s a different story, we are getting a lot of press and lot more orders. Now, people stop us and ask, “Are you selling stock in your company yet?” or “When you start hiring, remember me”.
- testing myself – it is amazing when you realize how much you can accomplish when you are passionate about something. Sleep is for sissies – at least that is what I keep telling myself. We’ve had so many orders for the Rotater lately that we don’t have the luxury to sleep. That is, if we expect to maintain excellent customer service. And we do!
- not taking “No” personally – some people don’t understand the concept of the Rotater or how it can help them. That’s not a problem for me, because those who reject it are in the minority and I know that it is not an indictment of me or my abilities. I just keep plugging along because I know that we are helping people regain their quality of life.
The result
I am tired, overworked, excited, stressed, stretched, learning, growing – and I absolutely love it. I am having the time of my life. How long will it last? As long as I am willing to maintain good habits.
Thanks
Thanks again, Daylle. I didn’t realize until I began, how much I needed to write this article. What a release.
Tag, your it
I would like to tag:
- Brad Baggett – my good friend and a phenomenal connector. He “knows” people and can put you in touch with people that can help you – a networker “par excellence”.
- Eric Sanders – another good friend with a sense of humor that is so similar to mine, that it is scary. Strong opinions and willing to share as well as defend them. A real “idea” man.
- Tristan Loo – I’ve read some of Tristan’s writings and have been impressed with his style and substance. Recently, I had the pleasure to read “Lucky You!”, an article that he had published in a sweet self-help magazine entitled GOING BONKERS. As usual, it was great.
- Stephen Hopson - a good friend and constant inspiration. He is one of the best networkers that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing
Tell us all how you’ve created better habits. Anyone who feel compelled to share, go to Daylle’s site and check out the rules and join the fun. The more the merrier.
Define success or excuse failure - it’s up to you
Everyone wants to be successful, but if you ask 100 people to define success, most of the time, 95–97 percent of those who answer, will give you extremely vague definitions. This isn’t unusual since studies have shown time and again that only about three to five percent of the population will take the time to define what success means to them. These select few will proceed to map out a goals program along with the a strategy for attaining their goals.
1. How do you define success?
Success is unique to you. How you define success is based on:
- your dreams
- your hopes
- your present situation
- your past experiences
- your knowledge
- your passion
- your drive to do or be
- your family situation
- your age
- your belief system
…and there are probably a host of other things that can and will influence your definition of success. The point is for you to begin to think about what you want. It is very important that you determine what you want as opposed to what others want for you.
Make notes when a thought “pops” into your head. Then, set aside a quiet time to go through your thoughts, taking into account your unique situation, and then develop a definition of success that suits you.
2. Develop a plan to achieve your definition of success.
Since your definition of success is unique to you and your situation, then your plan must be unique. Points to consider:
- do you need more education?
- is it formal or informal education? (do you need to return to school or do you need to do research?)
- is your spouse/family on board with your new goals? (if so, great. if not, how will you deal with the situation?)
- are you willing to devote the time needed to grow? (growth requires change – you can’t grow and stay the same)
- can you see problems? (how will/can you deal with them?)
- can you live in the minute? (what can you do “right now”, “this minute” to achieve your goals?”
- do you deserve success? (if you don’t feel that you deserve success, you will do things to sabotage yourself)
3. Excuses: our illogical reasons for lack of success
The first response to any program of personal growth and development is the production of a number of excuses as to why you can’t become successful. Here is a short list of often expressed excuses:
- I’m too old. Really? Grandma Moses was in her 80’s before she ever painted. Colonel Sanders was in his 60’s when he began trying to market his “original” recipe.
- I’m not smart enough. Really? The fact is that most people are within single digits of the vast majority of the world’s population when it comes to a measurement of intelligence. We tend to overestimate the intelligence of others while at the same time underestimating our own intelligence.
- I don’t know where to start. Really? You don’t have to know where to start, you just have to start. You determine where that is. Anywhere is okay, the point is to just begin, the way will reveal itself once you begin to look.
- I’m worried about what my friends and family will think. Really? If they really care about you, they will stand behind you. If they don’t support you, you have to wonder what their motives are. Are they jealous? When you succeed, what will that say about their efforts?
- I’m just not that kind of person. Really? What kind of person are you? The kind that is destined to fail? The fact is that most people are more alike than they are different. We all deserve success, but we each determine our own destiny. We are where we are today because of the choices we made yesterday. We made our choices based on our thoughts. Therefore, it stands to reason that if we can change the way we think, we can change our choices and thus change our future.
These are not valid excuses for you or anyone else because someone else has faced these same situations and they overcame them. If they can be overcome, then you can also overcome them.
- Get your mind right
- Accept responsibility for your life
- Define success
- Create a plan
- Commit to personal growth and development
- Develop your mind
- Realize that mediocrity is not acceptable and success is your right
Do your part - share
Happy Thanksgiving. As a parent, I think it is important for each of my girls to have their own possessions. Things they can care for and call their own. I think it is equally important for them to learn to share – first with their family and then with other children.
As the role models that have will have the most influence on our children’s lives, we have the responsibility to teach the concept of sharing by being a living example.
1. Share your love
You cannot over-do this. No matter how much you give, you can always give more.
- Teach your children how to express their love.
- Show your children how much you love them. Here’s a hint – you are not demonstrating their importance to you when you can’t find the time to spend with them.
- Constantly tell your children that you love them and that they are important to you.
- Be involved in their lives – who are their friends? what are your children’s dreams? how are they planning on achieving their dreams? what is your role and involvement in their future?
- Be affectionate with your spouse/partner – this shows your children that they are in a loving and therefore safe family environment and goes a long way to establishing their self esteem.
2. Share your time
When you say that you love someone, you are telling them verbally that they are important to you. You spend time enjoying/doing the things that you believe are important. What you do says so much more that what you say.
- Read to your children – if you begin this when they are newborns, your child will have a huge head start in their education. Statistics have shown that children who are read to do better in school than their contemporaries who were not read to.
- Play with your children – they grow way too fast so give them every reason to want to spend time with you as they mature and become adults.
3. Share your experience
You have faced some unique experiences, but the principles that they teach are universal. Mentor someone. Simply making yourself available to a young person can result in a wide range of questions about your life and experiences.
- Explain your successes and failures – What were your good decisions?
- What would you do differently? - Where did you miss an opportunity? Why did you miss an opportunity?
- Do you know someone who would be valuable for this person?
- Share the secrets of your success – What did you do that was unique and played a role in your success?
4. Share your dreams
People like to know what inspires and motivates you.
- Why did you do this or that?
- Were you scared? excited? hesitant?
- What do you visualize?
- Why are you so confident?
5. Share your ideas
This is hard for the majority of people because they refuse to believe that we live in a world of abundance. They think that everything is a “zero sum” game, meaning that in order for them to win then someone else must lose. This is a fallacy. There is plenty for everyone.
- You will have more ideas than you can ever hope to exploit – tell someone what they are, maybe they can start on one of them now. Besides that, you have just endeared yourself to someone and created the need for them to reciprocate. They will do their best to repay you, somehow.
- Be a part of a “master mind”. This is a group of like-minded people who meet for the purpose of growing. The individuals that make up this group can be as varied as you like, but they must share a similar need to succeed. Share your ideas with them and watch how they morph into “great” dreams.
Sharing is not about letting someone use your stuff. It’s about being involved in the lives of others – developing relationships, partnerships and friendships. Share your life.
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