My journey for personal growth and development begins with these 6 steps
This blog (soupornuts.com) is written to inspire, motivate, educate and help you become the person you can be. I believe in goals and the power of goal setting. The first step in the journey to becoming a “new” you is to have in your mind a clear picture of the person you want to become. Without a clear picture of what you want in your mind it is like traveling down a road that divides into a number of different options. How do you choose which option to take? If you don’t have a goal, It really doesn’t matter which road you take. Does it? If we don’t know where we are going it really doesn’t make any difference which road we take to get there because they all lead to the same place – the land of lost dreams, lost hope, missed opportunity, and regret.
Today’s decisions create tomorrow’s reality
I also believe that we are the sum total of the past decisions we’ve made. All those little and not so little decisions have resulted in placing us right where we are today. The point? Change your perspective from one of passivity to activity. Make up your mind that today you have a purpose and a goal. And your goals are whatever YOU determine the goals to be. Realize that starting today you can actively determine your future by making decisions today that are in line with achieving your goals. If you can make only a small step in the direction of your goals, you have something to build on tomorrow and you begin to gain momentum.
Be easy with yourself. Here are some of my goals for today.
1. Today, I will make it a point to smile at everyone I meet.
Not a sly or seductive smile, but a “happy, How’re you doing” smile. Researchers say that one of the first things people notice when they meet another person is the presence or absence of a smile. If you smile, 99 percent of the time people will smile back. They can’t help it. Someone has to actively force themselves not to smile, when they see someone smiling at them.
A smile puts people at ease. It comforts them and is welcoming. The vast majority of the time, your smile causes the recipient to smile in response to you. The simple act of smiling causes the release of endorphins in the brain resulting in a pleasurable feeling of happiness. Smiling at someone can cause them to physically feel happy. What power.
2. Today, I will engage someone in conversation.
I’ll ask, how they are doing. An then I’ll actually take the time to pay attention and listen to their answer.
- People like to talk.
- This is my opportunity to give someone what they want.
- People need to talk.
- People want to talk to a willing and attentive listener.
Ironically, if you listen to people, you will become known as a “great conversationalist”.This will provide me with the chance to allow someone to vent their needs and emotions. Or maybe just communicate. Maybe they want my opinion, maybe they don’t. If they do ask for my thoughts, I can spread a little good news, offer a suggestion or provide them with a source of information they might find helpful.
3. Today, I am going to assist someone.
I’ll help a little old lady with her groceries or my daughter with her homework. By offering assistance, we show others that they have value to us – that we care about them. Because we value them, we want to help them.
Who can you help today? Does someone you know need a ride? Can you pick up something for your spouse on the way home from work? Do your kids need some special one-on-one time with you? Take them to the park or play in the yard. Get involved in their lives. Give them you most precious commodity – your time.
4. Today, I will embrace the opportunities that a new day presents.
Today, I have the opportunity to start fresh and handle every situation independently of every previous interaction. Today is a “do-over”. I can attempt to correct or modify my previous mistakes or learn from them what “not” to do again.
I will embrace the changes that a new day brings because all progress and growth involves change. I want change. If I am going to progress on a personal level then it stands to reason that I must change and I will start the changing process today.
5. Today, I will be thankful for all the joy and blessings that are mine.
I choose to see the good in everyone and everything. I will give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I will be appreciative of what I do have and not be upset, saddened or discontent about what I don’t have, because I realize that my happiness is determined by what is inside of me and not what I possess.
I will tell those close to me that I love them because I am not promised anymore than the present moment. I don’t want to ever regret a missed opportunity. I will hold my wife and hug my children and be eternally thankful.
6. Today, I will grow.
I will dedicate a portion of today for the purpose of expanding my mind. I will read or research a topic that interests me because I understand that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste”.
I choose not to watch television because I prefer to be in a meditative state of mind and not a vegetative one. I understand that what I allow to go into my my mind will be revealed in my thoughts, words and actions. I will experience life personally and not through the filter of broadcast media.
These are the things I will accomplish today. Each of these steps, though small and insignificant at first look, will propel me toward the person I want to become.
These are conscious decisions that I make and renew each day. For me, these simple decisions and declarations are the first steps in becoming an enlightened person, a happy person and a productive person with a great life.
Soupornuts’ short list of 7 rules for success
1. Decide what success means to you.
My definition of success and your definition of success are, most likely, different. You may find that my definition (or anyone else’s for that matter) is too limiting or too broad. My definition is unimportant and doesn’t matter, because you will only fight, tooth and nail, for what is yours – what you believe in, what you have dreamed and what you have designed!
Define what success is to you and then work toward it.
2. Make a commitment to yourself.
Your journey from where you are to where you want to be (your definition of success) begins when you commit yourself to doing whatever is necessary to achieve your dreams. This commitment is a promise to yourself to use all of your skills, abilities and contacts for the purpose of attaining your definition of success.
Don’t try to fool yourself, if you are not committed in the beginning, then you won’t have the staying power to complete your journey and you will quit when difficulties arise. And difficulties always arise.
We value others by their level of commitment to us. Those that we feel are the most committed to us are the ones that we hold dear. They are the friends that will never let us down.
Without personal integrity and commitment, a life a mediocrity awaits. The pull of the status quo is powerful, but if you wanted to be like everyone else, then you wouldn’t be contemplating committing yourself to the achievement of your dreams, would you?
If you choose to give up and take the easy road to middle class status quo, then for the rest of your life you will be forced to wonder what your life could have been.
Create the life you want and you won’t wonder what could have been.
3. Think on paper.
Or use a PDA. In order to move toward your goal, you need a plan. If you don’t know how to make a plan, then make a list. Make lots of lists.
- Who can help you?
- What skills do you need?
- What knowledge do you need?
- What steps must be taken?
Once you have a list, then you need to prioritize it. What is the most important thing that you need to do? Do that first. What’s next? Do it!
By making lists and prioritizing them, you begin to form a rough outline which you can condense into a logical and formidable plan to achieve your goals. Never underestimate the power of a list.
4. Read, read and read.
Books, magazines, blogs and online articles provide the means to increase your knowledge. If there is a subject that you need to know about, then someone, somewhere has written about it.
You must commit yourself to a regimen of lifelong learning. Set aside a specified amount of time each and every day to be devoted to reading about any subject that you want to become proficient in. A little time devoted each day adds up to a tremendous accumulation of information that you can call upon to make educated decisions.
All successful people understand that if you want to make excellent decisions, then you must have valid, current information at you disposal.
5. Develop your “people” skills.
People do business with people they like. That’s a fact. In 1986, my father and I went into business together and bought a service/gas station. I felt like it was tremendously undervalued and we got an excellent deal. The business was located on a major thoroughfare and in relatively good condition.
The problem was that the previous owner had almost no customers, other than a few that kept coming back because they could have work done on credit. The reason that they had no customers was that the people running the business were a couple of rude and crotchety old men who didn’t give a damn about customer service.
If you don’t care about people, then they certainly will not care about you. Excellent customer service is not just about the person that you are dealing with right now, but also about every person that your customer knows as well.
- always try to address people first
- lose your attitude
- look people in the eye – it’s all about honesty
- give them your full attention – they deserve your respect
- smile – it disarms and welcomes
- listen to their problems – shows that you care
- don’t interrupt – let them blow off some steam if that is the case
- ask questions – clarify the problem, again, shows that you care
- respect their opinions
- offer a solution to their problem
- do what you say you will do – people that don’t, piss me off
- follow up – it’s the little things that make a difference
6. Do one thing each day that moves you closer to your dream.
Keep a journal. Nothing fancy, just a notebook that you can record your efforts of the day. If you will make it a rule to do at least one thing each day that helps you in the attainment of your dream, then you will eventually achieve the results you want.
- call at least one contact
- email at least one contact
- read one article
- file one piece of paper
- make some notes
- revise your plan
- do a web search about something related to your dream
- meditate
- visualize your dream
- encourage someone in their pursuit
- mentor someone
The practice of “doing” something, becomes a life-altering habit, if it is performed everyday. Create for yourself a “daily checklist” where you can catalogue your efforts of each day. This will remind you that the journey to your goals/dreams is really only a series of “baby” steps. Though these steps seem to be small and insignificant when looked at singly, collectively they deliver us to our destination.
7. Never quit and never give up
You learned to do everything that you presently know how to do because you did not quit along the way. Stop just a minute and consider that statement. You were born without the knowledge to do anything. You learned everything along the way by trial and error.
What is the implication? You can learn anything if you don’t give up. It may take a little while, but you never fail as long as you keep trying. Consider these examples:
- 13 British colonies, without the necessary funding, without a central government and without a trained army or navy defeated the most powerful nation in the world to become independent.
- Abraham Lincoln was unsuccessful in numerous attempts to reach political office prior to becoming the President.
- Colonel Sanders was turned down over 9000+ times before selling his recipe and business concept.
- Edison, with 3 months of formal schooling succeeded in creating the first successful light bulb after 10,000 previously unsuccessful attempts. By the way, he did in three years, what the best scientists of that time had been trying to do for over 50 years.
- No one believed that a national service for overnight package delivery was necessary. No one, except Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, who did not give up in spite of a poor initial start.
We love the stories of the underdog who overcomes long odds to succeed. The Rocky’s and the Rudy’s. You can make your life a story that inspires others to believe that anything is possible - if you will never give up!
Four reasons that people live mediocre lives
You probably live an average life. Not that there is anything wrong with that – if mediocrity is what you want. If you disagree with me, then look around at the people you associate with. Are you like them? Are they extraordinary? Are you extraordinary?
- Where did you vacation last year? Was it a “once-in-a-lifetime” experience for you and your family?
- What is your income level? Are you making about the same as everyone else you know?
- What do you do to relax?
The questions could go on and on, but my point is this: Your life is basically like the lives of those people you consider to be your friends. You are, in all likelihood, a member of the status quo – the “great” majority – the massive workforce that keeps America churning along. In essence, you are average.
I have probably offended someone because everyone likes to think that they are unique. You are unique, but how you live your life is not. Why?
1. You live a mediocre life because that is what you want.
The vast majority “buys into” the herd mentality, which effectively stifles their uniqueness. It is much easier and more comfortable to blend in than it is to stand out. Most people believe:
- The head that is sticking up above the crowd is likely to be chopped off.
- Go along to get along.
- Don’t make waves.
Rather than stand apart and defend our distinction, most people will humbly plod through life, never approaching their true greatness. But that is your choice.
2. People live mediocre lives because they have no goals.
Ask your friends to show you their goals. They are likely to start telling you all the things that they hope to accomplish or what they want to do with their lives. However, these are not goals, these are their dreams.
Goals are always written down. Real goals can be seen because they are recorded.
What are your goals? If you don’t have any, then don’t feel bad, neither do 95% of the population. See, you are “just like everybody else”. Oh, by the way, the other 5% (that have written goals) – they own about 96% of the wealth in America.
I guess to have more - you must be different.
3. People can’t rise above mediocrity because they lack the power of focus.
Have you ever watched a child that has become obsessed or determined to accomplish some feat or task? They try and they fail. They try again and they fail again. They keep this up until they succeed. Why do they succeed?
- They don’t allow their failures to be final.
- They don’t quit because they failed.
- Their failures do not define them. Their persistence does.
- They were focused on achieving a specific task.
Most people have forgotten this ability to focus on the task at hand and allow themselves to be easily distracted. Overweight people would like to lose weight and be in better shape, but are distracted by:
- TV
- fast food
- stress
Middle class wage earners would like to elevate themselves to a higher income bracket, but they are distracted by:
- TV
- keeping up with the jones
- credit card debt
If the lack of focus is a problem for you, then don’t feel bad. You can discuss it with your bowling buddies, bridge group or the fellas down at the bar. I’m sure they will sympathize with you.
4. Most people have very poor time management skills.
Your most valuable asset is your time. How do you use it? If you are like most people, it just kind of slips through your fingers. You never really know where the time has gone, yet you have little to show for it. For most people, their time flies by like a series of random events. You may not value your time today, but one day you will.
Each day you are given 24 hours to use as you see fit. Common sense tells you that if you take the time to plan your use of the available time, then you will get the most from it. Do you plan your day?
If you expect to do more with your life - to achieve your potential, then you must do the things that will guarantee your impending greatness. Find someone who has achieved the goals that you desire to reach and follow their example. Better yet, contact them and ask them to mentor you.
You will never approach greatness while a member of the “herd”. You must think, act, speak and be different. Remember:
MEDIOCRITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!
Success starts with the task you are doing right now.
Success.
- Give it to me.
- Let me have it.
- How can I get it?
- What does it mean?
- Why do I want it?
- Where is it?
- How will I know when I get it?
Success has a different definition for different people. My opinion is that success is the combination of excellent personal relationships, a financial position that allows for the least amount of stress while providing your necessary accouterments and a healthy relationship with God.
Your definition is up to you.
Achieving success is as easy as beginning and completing a series of individual actions each day.
- If you make a conscious effort to be successful in each task that you attempt each day, then at the end of the day you will have had a successful day.
- If each day is successful then you have had a successful week, and so forth.
The point is that each small, insignificant, unimportant, meaningless task becomes important when you consider that completing them cumulatively results in determining your success for each day. If you view success as an accumulation of individual successes and consider everything you do as contributing to your success, then you will take the time to put your very best effort into each “meaningless” task. Call “Achieving Success through Baby Steps”.
Start small and build a string of successes today. Your day will then be successful. String enough days together and the result is that your life will be successful.
Five steps to success - A “novel” approach to wealth and riches
Somewhere, right now, there is an infomercial being shown, telling the world how to get rich. Some tell you how to get rich quick, others just tell you their “sure-fire” way to get rich — if you will just purchase the requisite “Get-Rich” program materials.
Now one thing is for sure. Someone is getting rich. My opinion is that the only ones guaranteed to get rich are the ones selling the “Get-Rich” program materials. Do these programs work? Probably, by some, to some degree. But we’ll never know for sure because the “Get-Rich” and the “Get-Rich-Quick” companies don’t post or reveal definitive statistics on success and failure rates. Again, do they work? Probably for some small (read that - miniscule) number, but as my good friend J. S. likes to say, “Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every once in a while” (this is also a miniscule number).
So, here’s my novel approach:
Step 1: Find something that you are passionate about.
It makes no difference what your passion is. It could be stock car racing or butterfly collecting. But, it must be your passion and not someone else’s idea of what you should be doing. It can’t be a parent’s dream for your life. It can’t be a friend’s suggestion. It must be yours. This step is critical — What are you passionate about?
Step 2: Research, Research, Research
This is where 98% of people will choose to “opt-out”, drop out and lose interest. They will quit because they did not choose a topic that inspires their passions. If you’ve chosen a passionate topic, then you won’t quit - because you can’t quit. You refuse to quit. If doing a great deal of research bothers you then you have obviously not chosen something that stirs you.
Stop reading now or go back to step one. For those of you that have a passion, then let’s move on.
Why do research? As your knowledge of a subject increases, so to does the awareness of the opportunities for profitability in areas related to your subject.
For example, have you every purchased an item that you felt was relatively unique only to realize that after you purchased it that there are many more of these items “out there” than you thought? Did you start a trend? Maybe, but probably not. Because of your passion to have this item, you bought it. With this passionate item in your possession, you became more aware that others have the same passionate desire for this item. The number out there did not change, only your awareness of them changed – because you acted on your passion.
It is your goal to find as many areas of potential profitability as possible. This is not a problem for you because you are web-savvy. You have the great, vast databases of the internet quivering with anticipation of your keystrokes. So let the games begin. Search, research, down load, read and analyze. Use sites like Del.icio.us (great for book-marking research - tag and store your pertinent web page research). Now, do it again. Use different search engines, search different phrases, but don’t stop until you see or feel the “BIG” idea begin to take shape.
Step 3: Write, Write, Write
Yes, I know that this is the computer age, but there is a method to my madness. By using pen and paper, you activate different parts of your brain, creating or reinforcing neural pathways.
Remember a time when you injured one of your hands and had to learn how to do all the things you did with your injured hand with your uninjured hand. At first this was difficult, but with time and repetition theses tasks became much easier. This demonstrates the creation of new neural pathways and you soon became capable of most tasks with your “good” hand.
Writing down your thoughts and ideas creates new neural pathways and these new neural pathways increase the awareness of your passion while at the same time increasing your memory of other facts and ideas about your passion that you’ve already recorded and cataloged.
Once you begin your quest, it is imperative that you keep a pencil and paper handy at all times. Keep them with you as you do your research, ride in your car (please stop and pull over to write), or even sleep. You may find this hard to believe now, but ideas don’t wait for you to get ready and they seldom hang around in your brain’s RAM for very long. Also, get ready to write a lot. By focusing on your passion, you will begin to be bombarded with thoughts, ideas and plans for your passion.
As ideas flow into your mind, stop and record every one of them with as much detail as you can. At first, there will only be a trickle of innovative thoughts, but this will soon turn into a deluge that you cannot stop. Record every single one of them.
Step 4: Research, Write, Research, Write
You have probably acquired several good but vague ideas of how to translate your passion into profitability. It now becomes your quest to acquire and develop the needed data that moves your passionate ideas from the dim, light bulb of vagueness to the focused, high-powered dot of a laser beam.
The wild, web-slinging data acquisition machine that you are is now primed and ready to proceed. Begin by searching web sites that have products and services related to your passionate idea. Go to www.score.org. This site has a wealth of information that extends from providing information to connecting you with a mentor. In their words, “…dedicated to providing resources and expertise to maximize the success of existing and emerging small business.” And it’s all free. Another site that has a tremendous storehouse of information is www.sba.gov/. This is the U. S. Small Business Administration, another free site.
If you have trusted friends or relatives, then discuss your ideas with them. Network to locate contacts that can provide you with help, information or more contacts. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ll be surprised at who you know that has knowledge, access to knowledge or contacts that will be more than willing to help:
- if you can clearly communicate your ideas and
- you are willing to ask for their help.
Are you beginning to see the necessity of having a passion? Of recording every thought and idea? This information and passion are the tools you need to communicate to others how you plan to accomplish your dream.
Step 5: Persist & Plan
At this point you should have an idea for a product or service that your are “on fire” about. You should have the information and /or the contacts needed to help you develop your passionate idea.
Now, all the leg work, emails, phone calls and meetings can begin. There will be numerous small speed bumps, that if considered collectively, form a mountain of opposition to the realization of your passion and if not dealt with effectively will grind you into submission.
Stop and record each of the speed bumps individually. Study each one individually and then write a short plan for how to deal with it, who will deal with it (if you have help), and when it will be completed. Set a deadline and then reevaluate at that time. Brian Tracy’s book, “Eat that Frog” will help you immeasurably at this stage.
As the speed bumps begin to smooth out, all the hard work (which is really not hard work at all because this is your passion) will begin to pay dividends. To reach this point is a huge accomplishment.
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You began with a passionate desire and exceeded the good intentions of 98% of those who think they want to succeed.
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By researching your passion, you have found income producing possibilities and opportunities waiting to be exploited.
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You have continued to fine tune your research while manually recording your plans for achieving your passionate idea.
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You’ve discovered contacts, information and skills that have lain dormant within you awaiting your passion.
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By now, you have all the information or access to the information necessary for your success.
The “novelty” of this approach to riches & wealth is that everything that you need to succeed resides within you.
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It’s seed is your passion
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Water it with knowledge
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Feed it with possibility
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Reap the harvest of your diligent effort
How much “passion” do you really have?
Ten minutes and six steps to a meaningful, purposeful life
Get up - Take a shower - Grab a bite - Kiss the kids and wife (or husband) – Catch the train, bus, car, (fill in the blank________) to work - Do your time - Rub elbows - Head home - Eat dinner (supper, if your from the south) - Spend a little time with the kids before their bedtime - Watch a little tv - Lights out - Maybe some bedroom hyjinks - Sleep - Repeat daily — weekends off for good behavior.
Sound familiar? Call it a rut or call it a grave — the only difference is the depth. But the question is “How can you change”? “How can you get out of this rut”? The answer is simple. Stop living accidentally — because that’s what you’re doing now. If you don’t have a purpose (clear and defined) and a plan (written) for your life, then everything you do is accidental and pretty much incidental. Life is happening all around you, but your not experiencing it; you’re just bumping into it from time to time.
So what’s the remedy? Give yourself ten minutes each day to change your life. Five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night.
Get up five minutes earlier (yes I’m aware that you need your sleep, but you won’t miss it) each morning for the purpose of preparing yourself and your mind for the coming day; a kind of “get your mind right” exercise. Find a quiet spot and:
1. Be thankful - take a minute ( no more) to reflect on:
- your previous night’s rest, your health, your family, your career, etc
- the opportunities of the coming day.
2. Prepare for the day - one minute
3. Self Motivate - one minute
- yes talk to yourself. It is ok.
- be positive, optimistic and happy. Stand tall, shoulders back and head held high. Your posture has a great influence on your mood.
- remind yourself that everything that is happening is for your ultimate benefit. Realize that every event has two sides - a positive and a negative or an optimistic and pessimistic - you determine your point of view.
4. Decide to contribute value to other people’s lives - two minutes
- Smile - it makes you feel good and it makes the other person feel better. It’s healthier for you and it’s a mood-setter, meaning it’s the first thing people notice when you meet. Your smile disarms and welcomes. It makes interaction easier.
- Greet others - Hi, How are you doing?, What’s up?, or How ’bout it? (it’s a southern thing). This show others that you are willing and able to interact.
- Compliment others - but only if you can genuinely offer a compliment. It makes people feel good and it makes you feel good to help others feel good.
- Engage others - ask about them, their family or their interests. Everyone likes to talk about their interests and will be flattered that you remembered to ask about them.
- Listen - give them your attention or don’t bother to engage them at all. Remember that you may need a shoulder to cry on sometime and this person could be a willing confidant.
- Empathize - be willing to see and feel their situation. Laugh or cry with them - but be there to provide the support they need.
- Help them - ask how you can help and then follow through.
- Console - if there is nothing you can do then simply offer your consolation. If possible try to lift their spirits.
5. Review your day - three minutes
- Acknowledge your accomplishments - Feel good about them.
- Acknowledge your missed opportunities - Try to see how it could have been different.
- Resolve to have a fresh start in the morning.
6. Wind down - two minutes
- Give thanks for the day and the opportunities it provided.
- Relax - consciously flex and relax your muscles slightly. This will allow you to see where you might be experiencing stress and then you can consciously relax these muscles allowing you to drift off to a peaceful sleep sooner.
- Self talk - tell yourself that you are going to have a deep and restful nights sleep.
- Visualize - in your mind’s eye, allow your dreams and goals to come into focus and see them as you continue to relax and drift off to sleep.
Commit to following this plan or one of your choosing for one month, then compare the differences in your life before and after. I have no doubt that you will be amazed and what you are capable of accomplishing.
Don’t allow others to “eclipse” your potential
Yesterday, as I was working on a project with my partner Scott Kay, I received a call that required my immediate attention. This particular call came from an individual who is quite a negative personality. You know – the “chicken little” – the sky is falling all the time, type. As I was departing, Scott said, “Don’t let him eclipse you, brother”.
Well, we were able to reach a solution and when I returned, I found Scott hard at work. He was writing this article. So today’s post is by my partner Scott Kay and is titled “Don’t allow others to “eclipse” your potential”.
How can something so small, block-out something so big? This is a question that I asked myself during a solar eclipse. Of course, everyone volunteered the correct answer. The fact is that the moon is much closer to the earth than it is to the sun, which is correct.
It is nonetheless fascinating that the sun, as massive as it is, can be squelched by something which is so minute in size, namely the moon. Everyone is baffled that I can be so ignorant at times.
Yet this happens everyday in “real” life. Someone stumbles across an opportunity or an idea this is so great that it could, very well, change the course of their future. This idea could possible secure financial freedom for them and their family from now on and generations to come. This opportunity could provide not only the things in life that they desire, but also the time to enjoy those things with the people they love.
I know that you are asking yourself, “If this is true, how is it that I never hear about it happening?” The simple answer is that the “great opportunity” or “super idea”, as big and powerful as it is, is never acted on because it is blocked by as few as one single person.
People are baffled. How could this happen?
People perceive me as ignorant because I can’t fathom a solar eclipse. But I can see this concept (of being blocked ) as clear as day. Other’s can’t fathom how someone would abandon a great opportunity or a great idea, because of one single person. It is for the same reason that a solar eclipse is possible. There is someone closer to you than the great idea or great opportunity.
This “eclipsing” effect normally comes through friends and family. Because of their “caring nature”, they explain to you that great opportunities and great ideas only happen for others. Definitely not for you. The sentiment can be summed up and paraphrased as “you are destined to stay where you are, forever, just like us, so stop striving to better yourself.”
This is so unfortunate for not only that person, but for the world in general. There is no way of knowing who else might benefit from their great idea.
Fortunately, we have some independent thinkers and doers who would not allow themselves to be “eclipsed” by others - people like, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Chris Melton and Scott Kay. Don’t ever let anyone squelch you or “eclipse” you from being all that you can be or that you want to be.
Stepping on toes is one way to motivate people
O.K. It was bound to happen. I’ve stepped on someone’s toes. What I did not expect however, is that it would be my toes. In my last post (The two choices that you make each day that determine your destiny) I wrote that:
- You must take responsibility for your life
- You must launch today
I don’t have a problem with number 1, which is why I have a problem with number 2. Let me try to explain.
I am 45 years old and have been highly active all my life – sports when I was in school and weight lifting/bodybuilding and jogging until the last year. About this time last year I began to slack off. I justified it by saying:
- Hey, your 44 and in better shape that 90% of the people out there
- Hey Chris, you’ve had three orthopedic surgeries (shoulder, knee and hand) in the last 10 years, you deserve a break
- It’s an opportunity to rejuvenate
So, I began to slack off. I went from working out 4–5 times a week to working out 1–2 times a week. Then in October of last year, I quit altogether (my justification – with all the projects that I’ve got going on, I just can’t spare the time).
The results? Well, I have not gained body weight, but my body composition has changed considerably. At 5’9”, a body weight of 200 pounds does not look too bad if you have a muscular physique. However, if you weigh 200 pounds at that height and don’t work out, you begin to look a little dumpy.
Right now, I feel dumpy. My 32 inch waist pants no longer fit without help. I don’t like it.
1. I take responsibility for my life!
- I have two beautiful little girls, ages 6 and 4, who deserve a healthy and active daddy
- I have a baby on the way ( remember my Father’s Day post? )
- I have a beautiful wife who is 14 years younger than me and deserves to have me around to help her
- I have responsibilities to my business partners
These (above) are just some of the reasons that I feel that it is important for me to be healthy and active. I cannot state enough the need and benefits of a healthy lifestyle.
- Longer life
- Healthier life
- Better quality of life
2. I will launch today!
If you don’t do what you preach, then you have no credibility! Can I get an AMEN? Here is my commitment:
- I will lose 30 lbs
- I will weigh 170 lbs
- I will accomplish my goal by October 20, 2007 (15 weeks)
- I will post a short progress report at least once a week to show you that I keep my commitments
Please notice:
- I have set a specific goal (30 lbs to lose and to weigh 170 lbs)
- I have set a measurable goal
- I have set a doable goal (lose approximately 2lbs per week)
- I have set a deadline (October 20, 2007)
- I have obligated myself, by letting others know of my goals (this post)
Does anyone out there want to join me in this endeavor? Make your own commitment.
I’ll keep you posted. MEDIOCRITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE – “soupornuts”
INITIAL STARTING WEIGHT: 200 lbs
Writing down your goals - the first step to enjoying an extraordinary life
You need goals! You’ve got to have goals!
- How many times have you heard or read that phrase? Countless, I’m sure.
- How many times have you intended to do something about it? I’d wager that almost every time that you heard or read it, you intended to act on it, but, like most people (around 95%), you’ve been able to resist the call to experience an extraordinarily successful life.
Talk to the people you know. Ask them about their goals. Most will tell you that they have goals. Some will even point to their head and say, “they are all up here”.
People think that if they say they have goals, then it is so. If you believe this, then you too, are mistaken. What you have are hopes, dreams, wants and wishes. These are the “feel good” caricatures of true goals.
You see, when a football player crosses the goal line to score a touchdown, or a baseball player hits a baseball over the fence for a home run, or a salesman exceeds a company quota, these have not only accomplished a feat of their imagination, but they have all reached or surpassed a goal (the goal line in football, the fence in baseball, and the stated quota for the salesman) that occupies actual, physical, tangible space.
A goal is a tangible representation of an imagined desire or event. Your desire to live the life you were destined to enjoy begins when you put your hand to the paper and record your goals.
Why is the act of recording your goals so powerful? Because it works. The reason that it works is most likely due to the theory of Cognizant – Dissonance. In the simplest terms, this is the fear that our life (how we are living) is not consistent with our beliefs. This inconsistency has the same motivating force as hunger. We will usually do whatever is necessary to avoid it.
If you stop to think about it, you have probably used this theory in your own life.
- Have you ever started a food diary? The act of recording everything you eat reveals to you that what you think you are eating (your inner belief) is being exceeded by what you are actually eating (your outer life). This creates an inconsistency that bothers you ( and me ). This bothers you enough to begin to limit your caloric intake (this is the goal of people who prescribe this method) or this bothers you enough to stop recording your dietary intake (the stick your head in the sand method of outer and inner equilibrium).
- Do you use a budget? This too, is a tool that creates cognizant dissonance. It makes us aware that we are either not making enough money or that we are spending too much. This forces us to either adapt to rid ourselves of these inconsistencies or stop doing a budget and avoid the awareness of the issue. (If we avoid it, then it doesn’t exist, does it?)
- Have you ever signed up to do volunteer work? People know that if they can get you to agree to work on a project, even if you don’t want to do it, then when the time comes to do the work, you will be there, because you don’t want your outer and inner lives to be in conflict.
In other words, rather than writing down our goals which will create an inner inconsistency with our external reality, thus forcing us into the needed action to accomplish our goals and bringing our outer lives and inner lives into harmony, we decide it is easier to not record our goals and have a mediocre life.
It becomes easier to do nothing and have a little, than to do the things that you are fully capable of, and having abundance. You deserve more. You deserve the life you were destined for. Begin today.
1. RECORD YOUR WANTS AND WISHES, YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS
Simply take a little quiet time and write down the things you desire. Ex. – a new home on the lake
2. RESTATE YOUR WANTS AND WISHES IN A POSITIVE MANNER
“I have a new home on the lake”
3. SPEND SOME TIME IMAGINING WHAT YOUR DREAM LOOKS LIKE.
This is easy. Spend a little time everyday imagining yourself at your lake house. See yourself enjoying your boat, or sitting in a deck chair with a cool drink as you watch your family enjoy the fruits of your labor. Be elaborate and detailed.
Do this as often as possible.
4. LIST THE EVENTS THAT MUST OCCUR IN ORDER FOR YOU TO MOVE INTO YOUR NEW HOME ON THE LAKE.
- Get a raise to afford the mortgage.
- Cut expenses
- Sell some assets
- You get the point – what can you do to make your dreams and ultimately your goals become realities.
5. START DOING THE THINGS ON “YOUR” LIST.
Recorded goals are powerful tools that can help you achieve the life you deserve. Don’t cheat yourself out of the abundance that is rightfully yours. Remember:
- You are the master of your destiny
- MEDIOCRITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!
Change your priorities - create a “plan for living”
Much emphasis in our society is placed on taking care of our families in the event of our untimely deaths. (I am not sure that there is ever a “timely” death, but that is a thought for another post.) This is how insurance companies sell policies and how funeral homes sell prepackaged funeral services. Most of all, we are very conscious of preparing a will so that our possessions will be distributed as we see fit. All of this can fit under the title – A Plan for Dying.
Some of us also see the need to create a living will in order to address the problem of mental incapacitation. In other words, should we be hurt or otherwise mentally incapacitated to the point that there is no chance of us ever recovering our mental facilities, then we can instruct the doctors to “pull the plug” via a pre-arranged legal document, thus saving our families and loved one the anguish of making this decision. This can fit under the title – Create a Living Will.
It does seem odd to me that we place a disportionate amount of time and energy preparing for events that leave us dead or as good as dead while at the same time we make no effort planning our life.
- What is the plan for your life? If you don’t have one, then don’t feel bad. If you look around, about 95% of the people you see are in your same situation – they don’t have a plan either. Incidently, the other 5% ( who do have a plan), own about 96% of the wealth in this country. Sobering thought isn’t it? Perhaps they are more interested in living than in dying.
- If your plan is not written down, then you don’t have a plan – what you have is a dream. Dreams are fleeting wisps of vapor that are never really very clear. They are ideas, thoughts and hopes that never quite materialize because they have no substance.
- Write your plan down. Call it your Plan for Living or whatever seems appropriate. The point is that you will never be able to accumulate wealth so that you can retire early, travel to exotic places, pursue your hobbies as you would like or spend quality time enjoying your children growing up without a plan.
- Your plan does not have to be elaborate, it just has to be written down. The act of recording your action plan creates a tangible template for your life. When decisions arise about finances or opportunities, look at your plan and evaluate whether these potential choices fit with your overall plan. If they do, great. If not, then discard them and go on.
- You will not hit the lottery. I seldom state things in the absolute, but I’m pretty sure of this.
- If I am wrong and you do hit the lottery, then you will be back to your present financial situation or in even worse financial conditions within 5 years. That is a fact that is supported by evidence. About 80% of all lottery winners ultimately end up bankrupt.
It seems that it would be in your best interest to sit down with your life partner, if you have one, and determine whether the two of you should be more concerned with living or dying. Make it a point to create a plan or a list of goals that you feel are important. Then get busy taking actions that lead to the accomplishment of your goals.
Spend your life living.
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