Develop your mental muscle for increased quality of life now and in the future
You are unique and you possess unique traits and abilities. One of those traits is the capacity to learn – right up the the point of death. This is wonderful – if you take advantage and harness your ability to learn. Though your capacity to learn does not diminish, for most, the desire to learn does. The large majority just doesn’t want to make the effort.
The result: instead of reaping the benefits and power of our unique ability (learning capacity), most people are content to have just enough to “get by”. Mediocrity is the rule.
Instead of living up to our potential by focusing our talents where they can do the most good for:
- ourselves – in the form of financial prosperity
- society in general – in the form of influence, wealth creation and economic stimulation
…we are satisfied to languish along side the rest of the herd.
This herd mentality, the desire to be like everybody else, does more to hold us back than anything else. We must realize that if we are to rise to our potential, then we must separate ourselves from the rest of the herd. To fulfill your potential and open the doors to possibility, requires both the desire to be more than you are right now and the conscious effort to learn how to be more. To be the person you are destined to be requires you to:
1. Desire to learn
If you are content, then you will not change. You will not see or feel the need to change. It’s only when discomfort replaces contentment that we consider changing something in our lives. It is when our clothes begin to get a little tighter that we begin to think about losing the slowly added weight. Here’s a thought that should make you very uncomfortable:
“…Every 8 seconds a Baby Boomer turns 50. According to a recent MetLife Foundation survey, Americans over the age of 55 fear Alzheimer’s more than any other disease besides cancer. But researchers no longer accept the notion that memory loss is inevitable. Instead, they urge senior citizens to exercise their minds.” (this is excerpted from Time magazine – Read the entire article)
You must become uncomfortable with the fact that you are not living up to your potential – if you are not. The fact that only a small percentage of our population (3–5%) ever reach financial independence is evidence that everyone cannot be reaching their potential since we live in a world of abundance and the same opportunities are available to everyone. What we don’t realize is that these “successful few” are not blessed with any special abilities. They may have traits that make them different, but their abilities are the same as ours. Read the “Millionaire Mind” by Thomas Stanley.
One thing that does stand out in the successes of our world is that they have a tremendous desire to learn. The successful person understands that learning always results in growth:
- growth of opportunities
- growth of skills
- growth of net worth
In order to grow in your career or in your life, you must learn, otherwise you stagnate. Stagnation stinks – literally.
Does the term “neuroplasticity” mean anything to you? It should. Read Shae Hadden’s post “The Plastic Brain”. It may change your thoughts on life after middle age. You should also consider reading “How Thinking Can Change The Brain” by the Dalai Lama. One quote should be of particular interest to you die-hard “can’t-teach-an-old-dog-new-tricks” advocates:
“The Dalai Lama had put his finger on an emerging revolution in brain research. In the last decade of the 20th century, neuroscientists overthrew the dogma that the adult brain can’t change. To the contrary, its structure and activity can morph in response to experience, an ability called neuroplasticity. The discovery has led to promising new treatments for children with dyslexia and for stroke patients, among others.”
2. Be open-minded
Learning requires the study of new topics and ideas. If you have a “know-it-all” mentality, you will never be able to free your mind to be all it can be. Almost no issue is either black or white. Most issues are shades of gray. It is often our lack of understanding that causes us to act erroneously and irrationally on a given topic. Learn How to Exercise an Open Mind.
It is when we give up stereotypical thinking and absolutism, that we “free” our minds to expand. This inner growth and development leads to an outer growth and expression in our lives. It is because we open ourselves to possibility, that the possibility comes into existence for us.
Opening your mind exposes the opportunities and possibilities. Are these new opportunities? No, they have always existed, but due to “tunnel vision”, you could not see them. How many “narrow minded” people do you know who would be considered financially successful? I think that these terms are mutually exclusive. In order to succeed, you must be progressive in your thinking.
3. Expose yourself
You cannot learn in a vacuum. You must explore and expose yourself to ideas and concepts that are foreign to you.
During my college experience, I had a professor who had a profound impact on my life. He was instrumental in motivating me to become involved in a graduate teaching program which resulted in one of the most satisfying experiences of my life – teaching. I went through an intensive training program and became a qualified (and paid) lab instructor for a variety of the biology courses offered.
This great experience would never have taken place if I had been content to just go to class and “get my credit”. Due to his enthusiasm, passion for teaching and willingness to help, I approached him for advice. This simple step led to a tremendously successful and fulfilling experience for me.
Expose yourself to new possibilities. Take a chance and look at these videos of some of the great tech thinkers of our generation. You don’t have to agree with them, but listen to their input. You learn when you are exposed to new input.
4. Practice thinking
Surround yourself with great thinkers and practice thinking. Trade ideas. Debate and defend your closely held beliefs. Do they stand up to scrutiny and examination?
If you want to be a success, then you must associate with successful people – people who stimulate your thinking.
- Discussing the weather, what you watched on television or which sports team is number one is not mentally stimulating.
- Listening to the constant bitching and moaning of the negative “doom and gloom” nay sayers will not introduce you to new topics of discussion.
- Most people have their minds made up, they are just trying to make sure that you don’t stray to far from the herd.
Move away from these kind of people! Find a mentor or at the very least someone who you consider to be successful and spend some time talking to them. You will discover that their abilities are no different than everyone else’s. However, their attitudes are.
Practice bouncing your ideas off of someone who can and will help you. Don’t waste your time with someone in the herd who just wants to play catch – tossing the same, bland ideas back and forth.
5. Keep a daily journal
Ask yourself, “what did I learn today?” I am not talking about a listing of facts, but a chronicle of the lessons and ideals that you experienced that day. Record what and how you learned these new topics. The act of manually recording your new ideas will imprint the experience on your brain where it will remain.
We have all heard or read the writings and advice of both Mark Twain and Will Rogers. Both of these great writers simply recorded their journey through life and their experiences with the “common man” along the way. The result is that each of these men are considered to be great teachers and philosophers.
Keep a journal. Record your ideas and lessons for the day, then go back over them from time to time. You’ll be amazed.
Successful men and women:
- have a great desire to be more knowledgeable
- are open-minded in their thinking
- constantly expose themselves to new and different ideas
- surround themselves with “possibility” thinkers
- keep a daily journal
If you want to be successful, model success. Do the things that successful people do. It is really that simple.
Credits – blast-off photo used courtesy of NASA
Six barriers to successful living
Why haven’t you achieved your potential? Why are others achieving more and better results than you? What’s holding you back? Simple questions – not so simple answers. Here’s a short list of obstacles that prevent you from achieving greatness:
1. You are scapegoating through life.
You have convinced yourself and everyone who will listen that all of your problems are caused by someone else or something else. Everything (at the very least, most things in your mind) are beyond your control.
Man, it depresses me just to write this stuff down. I can’t imagine how someone who truly believes this crap, must feel.
Napoleon said,
“I create the circumstances that affect me.”
This is true. It’s a fact, “stuff” happens to everybody – You are not special. At least, not in that sense. The universe is not picking on you. Crap hits everybody. Make up your mind to deal with it and then deal with it.
Accept responsibility for your actions or more likely your inaction. Decide that you are not going to take it anymore. Then don’t take it anymore. The simple fact that you are reading this is evidence that you are searching for direction. Here it is: You have every right to be successful in life. Make it your quest to soar above your present situation. Once you make a decision and begin to search for answers, the help you need will be revealed.
SOLUTION: Decide to be the master of your destiny or relegate yourself to being pushed around by circumstances beyond your control. Take control of your life. It’s really up to you.
2. It’s all about me – you are self-absorbed.
You know who you are. You get bored when someone else is getting the attention. You have the best stories (we’ve heard you one-up everybody). It’s always all about “you”.
Here is a wake up call: You are boring and dull. The only reason we listen to you is because either we are too nice to walk away or we realize that the politics of the organization we are a part of would be violated.
Your potential is diminished because you don’t understand that you cannot influence others when it’s obvious that you don’t care about them. Zig Ziglar said, “You can get anything you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.”
SOLUTION: In order to help yourself, you must help others. There’s no better long-term strategy to achieving your success. As Dr. Phil would say, “It ain’t about YOU!” Become a listener and a people person. Help others and then help yourself indirectly.
3. You allow others to make your life decisions.
You know how it goes; someone (Mom, Dad, or whoever you deem as influential) says you should do “this or that” with your life. Why? How do they know what you want? Or how you feel?
The family needs you to become a lawyer, or doctor, or accountant, or football star or whatever. “If you want me to pay for your college, then you’ll major in what I tell you to major in”.
To some of us, this seems absurd, but it happens. Really. Here’s a secret, if you are not happy, then you will not be able to make anyone else happy. The only thing that is sure is that by compromising you desires for someone else you will be filled with resentment and hurt.
Eventually, those emotions will be revealed.
SOLUTION: Why not cut to the chase and deal with it now? You’ll be happier in the long run and probably save a heap of money in psychoanalyst fees.
4. You are filled with subconscious self-doubt.
You are filled with doubts and thoughts of inadequacy. You feel un-deserving. If you don’t believe in yourself, then why should I? Or anyone else for that matter?
The short answer is that no one will believe in you. By the simple act of thinking self-deprecating thoughts, you have defeated yourself, regardless of your abilities.
Everyday, average people just like you and me have fantastic, original, creative thoughts and ideas. But just as quickly, they are dismissed and discarded for the simple reason that they must be of no value if a simpleton like you thought of them.
People tend to overestimate the talent, ability and intelligence of others and then compound the problem by underestimating their own attributes.
SOLUTION: Read “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. It is a classic and deserves to be. Learn some meaningful affirmations and use them. Become a true believer – in yourself.
5. Your are afraid.
I am not even going to attempt to list the wide variety of fears that hold people back.
SOLUTION: You must think of fear as the fence that keeps the herd in the pasture of mediocrity. You were not built for mediocrity. You are unique and you have unique abilities – use them.
6. You have no clear goals.
At least you are not alone. Studies and statistics that have been repeated many times prove that only 3–5 percent of the population have a tangible, written set of goals. Remarkably, this is the same percentage of financial independent people in the U.S. and world.
Do you think there is a correlation? It’s a no-brainer.
SOLUTION: Write down your goals and go over them daily. It will change your life.
Get a clue – you are responsible for your life!
Do you remember the little old lady in the Wendy’s commercial? The one that was always asking everyone, “Where’s the beef?” Well, I’m going to tell you! Are you ready? O.K. Here’s the beef – you are responsible for your life!
You choose your life and how it will be lived
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You choose your physical condition – yes, I know that some people are genetically blessed or cursed, depending on your viewpoint. But your genetics are not an excuse to wallow in self-pity while wishing and hoping your were in better shape. I have found that people will remain in whatever condition that they are currently in until that condition becomes so uncomfortable either mentally, physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually that they can no longer tolerate it. I am not saying that you will ever be a world-class athlete, but is that your ultimate goal? Or do you wish to be able to extend your life and the quality of it? Get off the couch, get out of the kitchen, turn the TV off – exercise, play, garden, walk, jog, play a sport, take up a hobby, play with your kids/grandkids – but do something! You are not a human-being, you are a human-doing.
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You choose your level of financial prosperity – if you don’t like your financial situation, then go to the bathroom and scream at the person staring back at you in the mirror. Edison said, and I am paraphrasing, “If a man did all that he was capable of, then he would literally astound himself.” Are you astonished with your accomplishments? The sad thing is that even though we are all capable of “astounding ourselves”, we don’t because it looks like work and effort will be involved.
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You choose your outlook on life – are you a grump, grouch or nay-sayer? You can change, if you want to. How many financially successful people, who did not inherit their money, do you know who have a pessimistic attitude? For me, the answer is zero. You simply cannot be inspiring and motivating to others while bemoaning your condition in life. People will not buy anything from this kind of person. Not products – Not services – Not ideas. Read about people who have overcome hardships and obstacles to achieve success in their lives. Fill your mind with quality information and knowledge. Sometimes changing your friends, associates or surroundings is the answer. But do something different if you want things to be different. You cannot progress and remain the same. Change requires effort.
Bad things happen to everyone
I know for a fact that “bad” things have occurred in your life. Well guess what, I know this because “bad” things happen in everyone’s life. It’s called LIFE – and it requires your active participation.
Most people spend their lives blaming someone else for their lot in life. Maybe we should all have a “pity” party and moan and groan to each other about how bad, hard or difficult our situation is.
The fact is that if there is one person who has faced the same hardships (or even worse hardships) as the ones that you face and they were able to overcome those trials, then you do not have a valid argument for wallowing in self-pity. If they succeeded then you can too. How?
- Make up your mind to overcome – the first step is the hardest step, but you only have to take it one time. It is also the most rewarding step because with that step, you realize that you can accomplish the next step. You will begin to rebuild your life into the kind of life you want, one step at a time. The key is to make progress daily. No matter how small that progress is. Eventually you will be where you want to be.
- Establish or find a support system – find a group of like-minded individuals (people who share the same issues as you). Learn when and where they meet. Go to their meetings. Sit in. Become accustomed and participate. Tortured souls typically find peace with each other because they can relate. Allow yourself to be helped, then in turn help another.
- Share your experience – Once you’ve crossed the abyss, give something back. Record your thoughts and share them. Look for opportunities to listen and be available to those who remind you of your former self. It is when we are giving that we are truly human.
Three little lies that are limiting your potential
If you have ever been to circus or fair that had an elephant act, then you were probable awed by the strength and power of these incredible animals. What you may not have realized is that these powerful creatures are often restrained by a small piece of rope that attaches their leg to a small stake that is driven into the ground.
You’ve got to wonder, “why don’t these behomeths rip the stake out of the ground?” “Why don’t the just tear the rope apart and take off?”
Mental restraint
The reason that they don’t use their power to free themselves is because they can’t. As a baby elephant, they were chained to a long metal rod, which was driven deeply into the ground. No matter how hard they pulled, they could not free themselves. As time went on, they pulled less and less. Eventually, the elephants understood that they could not free themselves.
The rope is unbreakable
After this point, it becomes only a matter of attaching something to their foot and fastening the other end to something in the ground. These fragile elements have become enough to subdue even the strongest elephant.
It is no longer the strength of the bindings that restrain the elephant, but it is the strength of the belief that the bindings restrain them that keeps them from roaming as they desire.
Our beliefs limit us
Our beliefs, like those of the elephants are very powerful. Sometimes they are the “little lies” (that we tell ourselves) that restrain us and keep us from reaching our potential.
1. The “I’m not educated enough” lie
This one is a classic that simply will not hold up under examination. Many great men and women in every area from science to politics to industry, have had limited or no formal education. People like:
- Thomas Edison
- Henry Ford
- Andrew Carnegie
- Dave Thomas
It is not really how much intelligence that you have that is important, but how you use what you’ve got that makes the difference. We make two basic erroneous assumptions with respect to education and intelligence:
- we typically overestimate the intelligence of other people
- we usually underestimate our own level of intelligence
Case in point: after I got married, my wife needed to finish graduate school. She was pursuing a master’s degree while I had visions of attaining a Ph.D. It became a simple matter of economics:
- she would finish school and get her masters degree
- I would get a job to pay the tuition and bills
- I would return to school later
Anyway, I learned that a local manufacturing facility was in need of help in their maintenance department. Since I had experience as both a auto mechanic and shop owner, I applied for the job and found out that the hiring process involved a thorough examination of both your mental aptitude and mechanical skills.
Anyway, I passed the tests and was given a job. I only found out later that several hundred people had been tested and rejected for a handful of jobs. My point: I had no idea that my skills were in demand because I had never really tried to market them. I had underestimated my abilities as so many people do. I thought that everyone knew the same things that I knew.
This view that “I’m not educated enough” is a wicked little lie that we use to justify our standing in the herd of mediocrity. The truth is that most people never tap into their mental powers because they are satisfied to be members of the great, vast, middle class. And that’s okay! Just be honest with yourself and admit that you have mentally tied yourself by this “little lie.”
2. The “I’m too old / you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” lie
If you believe this then you have obviously not watched the “Dog Whisperer”. Cesar Millan literally has those old, untrainable dogs eating out of his hand as well as doing a number of other previously “un-doable” things.
If you lost your present job tomorrow, would you limit yourself to searching only for jobs that are exactly like your present one? If that is the case, then you probably won’t find a new job because no two jobs are exactly alike and you’ve already stated that you are too old to learn a new skill.
You can see how ludicrous this philosophy really is. We can learn and we actively engage in increasing our knowledge base in those areas that:
- we enjoy – our hobbies and pastimes
- are mandatory – required for our present job
The sad truth is that what you know today will be obsolete tomorrow. There will be fewer and fewer factory and manual labor jobs as our economy transforms itself from an industrial / manufacturing powerhouse to an information and technology driven giant.
I am not here to debate the rightness or wrongness of the situation, I only want you to understand that in order to survive in tomorrow’s marketplace, you must embrace change and the associated need to learn new skills.
Unless you’ve got a firm date with St. Peter or that other guy, my advice is to shuck the “I’m too old lie” and get busy increasing you brain power and knowledge base. Challenge yourself to see what you can accomplish.
3. The “I’m waiting for: a) my ship to come in or b) to hit the lottery” lie
I am never really sure what ship these people are talking about. It’s always some vague idea or plan that is going to miraculously materialize some time in the future.
What do you think your chances of being killed in an airplane crash are? I’m not talking about an airplane crash in which you are a passenger. I’m talking about an airplane falling out of the sky and crashing into you while you are reeling in a world record largemouth bass as you are sitting in your brand new bass boat. Pretty slim, huh? Truth be known, the odds of the thing with boat happening are better than the odds that you will hit the lottery.
In fact you have a better chance of being struck by lightning multiple times than hitting the lottery. The insidious part is that even if you hit the lottery, you stand an 80 % of being bankrupt within five years. 80%!
This is a horrible “little lie” that beats you down, even if you win.
These three “little lies” are like the little rope that restricts the massive elephant. We can break free if we try – but our beliefs have convinced us that there is no use in resisting.
What’s really holding you back – the lie or the belief in the lie?
Overcome your early childhood programming to unleash your greatness
You are:
- too little
- too big
- too slow
- too shy
- not good in (please insert the trait you have heard most often in your life)
- never going to amount to anything
- a failure
- holding me back
These thoughts and many more are impressed upon our defenseless but highly receptive minds from an early age by otherwise loving and influential people, namely – parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, organization leaders, members of the clergy and others.
Programming damages
This programming results in an inestimable reduction in the effectiveness of our lives because often we never even attempt things that may contradict what we’ve been told directly or what we’ve heard indirectly.
- If you are so slow, then why go out for sports?
- If you aren’t strong in math, then why attempt to major in engineering?
It’s a huge lie
The sad part of this situation is that most of this programming is a lie. However, because we’ve heard it so often and from such a very young age, that we assume that it must be true. Therefore, this limiting propaganda becomes true for us because we believe it to be true.
Remedies
1. Challenge your long-held beliefs about yourself.
Do these limiting beliefs stand up to intense scrutiny? Are there any instances in your lifetime when you have proved them to be wrong?
I have a friend who was supposed to be just “another athletically talented jock”. He began to be recruited by colleges for an athletic scholarship so it was decided that he should take the SAT. He had not been expected to do well in school and did nothing beyond the average, scholastically. To everyone’s amazement (as well as his own) he scored a perfect 800 on the math part of his SAT’s!
I did not know him then, but I can’t imagine how anyone could have missed his brilliance and creativity.
If you have ever done anything to prove any of your programming about yourself to be wrong – even if it is only one time, then those beliefs are misconceptions and they no longer have the power to diminish your capabilities.
2. Approach those people who have tagged you with your self-limiting beliefs.
Ask your parents, coaches or relatives what motivated them to label you with whatever misconception it is that is holding you back. You may be surprised by how ridiculous the answers are.
3. Examine yourself.
Listen to your inner voice. Use your natural curiosity to examine your beliefs about yourself. What do you really believe about yourself? Are you really shy or is that just what you’ve heard all your life?
Often we feel an unnatural conflict that results from how we feel about ourselves and what we’ve been taught. Listen to yourself.
4. Educate yourself.
This article is a start, but do some more research. Find out how the teachings that are impressed (over & over) on you from a very early age can affect the rest of your life. Armed with an understanding of the issue, you will be motivated to throw off the useless dead weight of falsely held beliefs that have been hindering your true self.
5. Motivate yourself.
Motivation is like a fire – you’ve go to keep pouring the fuel to the fire to keep it roaring. Hopefully, I’ve stirred a passion within you, that on an instinctive level knows that you are capable of great things. Give your instincts a little free-rein and see where it takes you.
Success is complicated – but it’s not hard
I consider myself to be successful. I have:
- a very nice, custom home
- a medium sized horse farm
- a loving and supportive wife
- two daughters who adore their daddy
- a couple of rapidly growing businesses
What makes my level of success extraordinary? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! As I look back at the steps I’ve taken to arrive at my current position, I’ve come to realize that everything that I’ve done, could have been done by anyone.
Why then have I been able to reach this current level of success while others who are fully capable of enjoying the same success, have not? This bothers me, so I’ve been analyzing the reasons that produce the difference.
What I’ve come to understand is that the difference in success and mediocrity is due to the complications involved. Enjoying a successful life is complicated – not difficult. This is an important difference.
For example, suppose that you have a “great” idea (regular people like you and I have “great” ideas all the time) – what do you do next? Instead of diving right in and doing some research to gage the viability of their “great” idea, most people will:
- think of all the reasons that it won’t work.
- “I just don’t know where to start” – It doesn’t matter where you start, just start. Get on the internet or go to the local library and find out if there is something similar that is available. If there is, then determine how it is different than your idea. What can you do to make it better? Doing is better than not doing – DO SOMETHING!
- “I just don’t have the time” – Why not? Think of how silly that sounds, “I just don’t have the time to be successful”. What you really mean is that you won’t make the time to DO the things that are necessary for your idea to become a reality.
- “I’m not sure that I can do it” – Here’s a clue, no one is absolutely sure of anything, except death. Do you want to still be wondering “if you could have done it” on your death bed? I can’t think of anything more depressing.
- “I don’t have the skills needed” – If you are “smart” enough to have a great idea, then you are fully qualified to develop your great idea and make it a reality.
- “I’m just not the business type” – So what. You can become whatever it is that you need to be. The problem is that the need has never been so great as to force you to become what you can be. YOU must rise to the occasion. YOU must get out of your comfort zone. YOU must do something differently is you want to achieve different results.
- “What do I do first?” – Anything but not everything. Break your dream down into steps or processes, then break these down even further. You don’t have to do everything today – but you do need to do something each day that contributes to the achievement of your dream. When you sit down to eat, you don’t say, “There’s no way that I can fit all that food in my mouth at one time.” You begin to eat by taking one bite at a time. Over the course of your meal, you will consume what you need to sustain your body. Just concentrate on “one bite at a time”.
- translated, this means that it is easier to do nothing and be average than to do a little more and enjoy an extraordinary life.
- nothing about success is hard when you break it down into logical steps and processes. If you don’t do this, then it looks like an un-doable mountain, that is just too big and difficult for “little ole me” to attempt.
Okay, I think I’ve gotten it figured out:
- It’s complicated to become successful (ie – there are a lot of steps that must be take) but not hard ( doing the individual steps are not difficult).
- Being successful requires “doing”.
- It’s easier to do nothing and be average.
MEDIOCRITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!
Whining and complaining will not solve your problems
GUEST WRITER: Scott Kay – inventor of the Rotater
I stopped at an old farm house to ask directions from an old man who was sitting in his rocking chair. He was out on his porch with his dog. As I approached, the dog, who was just laying there, let out a little yelp and then a whimper. It didn’t sound like it was directed at me, besides it wasn’t a growl or anything.
Anyway, I asked the man how to get back to the interstate and then the dog made the same ill-sounding noise. The old man paid no attention to the dog and politely charted me a course back to the interstate. Just as the old man finished giving me directions, the dog once again let out that awful, whimpering sound. At this point, I asked the man, “What’s wrong with your dog?”
The old man replied, “He’s just laying on a nail.” To which I responded, “Well, why doesn’t he move?” The old man just sat back in his rocker and said, “Well, it hurts bad enough to whimper and whine, but it’s not bad enough to do anything about it.”
This is true of so many people. They whine and complain about where they are, about what they don’t have, and about how bad things are. But very seldom, do any of these people DO a single thing to improve their own situation.
It’s very easy to do something, but it’s just a whole lot easier to do nothing. It doesn’t matter what you think your your problem is:
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If you are fat, then go on a diet
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If you are skinny, then eat a biscuit
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If you are short, then get a ladder
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If you are tall, then kneel down
Whatever it is, do something! Too many people are waiting for someone else to do it for them. People want to just wait for their ship to come it. I say, “swim out to it.” If your ship is big enough, then it won’t be able to get close to shore anyway.
The point is – If you want things to change, then you must change. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will get the same result that you’ve always gotten.
The choice is yours. Accept responsibility for your life. You put yourself in the position that you are in and you are the only person who going to get you out of that position. But here is the kicker – YOU are the only person that can keep you in the situation that you are in.
I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to hear this and you probably disagree with me, but that’s okay, you can be wrong. But, be absolutely honest with yourself – what has whining and complaining ever done to better your way of life?
Reevaluate your life.
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What do you think about? – You become what you think about.
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How do you talk and what do you talk about? – Improve your vocabulary and discuss issues that are important to you.
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What do you do? – Your life depends on what YOU do.
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Who do you associate with? Are they successful? – You become like those you hang around, that is a fact!
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How do you use your time? – Hanging out and watching TV won’t get you where YOU want to be.
Now ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now, moving me closer to where I want to be?” If the answer is no, then don’t think it, say it, do it or associate with it.
How long are you going to be like the old dog? How long before the situation becomes so uncomfortable that you stop complaining about your problems and get up and do something? Take charge of YOUR life today.
Who’s to blame?
GUEST WRITER: Scott Kay – inventor of the Rotater
It seems to me that people are constantly searching for someone to blame for their current situation in life. I mean really – there has to be somebody responsible for me being where I am in my life right now.
There are so many potential candidates. Could it be:
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MY PARENTS? – Were they too strict or were they too lenient? Or maybe it’s because they were abusive or alcoholics or in jail and left me alone to be raised by a single parent or perhaps no parent at all. Maybe it’s because of the whole “broken” home issue or because we were poor. No, it can’t be for any of those reasons because of the simple fact that there have been successful people who have come from homes and families with these same problems !
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MY EDUCATION? – Could it be the fact that I went to a public school or a private school? Perhaps it was because my school was segregated or integrated. It was probably because my teachers didn’t like me and the principal had it in for me. No, that can’t be it. Other people have become successful – some without even having a high school diploma!
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THE GOVERNMENT? – It has to be the government. It is the republican’s fault for taking my money and giving it to the wealthy. No, no, it’s the democrat’s fault for taking my money and giving it to the poor. I know, it’s that the tax laws are written for the rich or the fact I don’t qualify for government assistance. No, it can’t be for any of these reasons, because someone, somewhere has overcome all these obstacles and succeeded.
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BECAUSE OF “WHO” I AM ?– It must be my color, or my heritage. Maybe, I’m too tall or too short, too fat, or too skinny, too old or too young. No, because old, short, fat immigrants have come to this country, not knowing our language or culture, flat broke and they have still become successful as have young, tall, skinny immigrants!
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MY JOB? – That’s what it is. I need a job – a better job. My boss hates me. I never get promoted. I don’t have a 401k and my co-workers are holding me back. No, that can’t be the problem either, because people have been fired from a job and have still become successful!
I could go on and on, listing all the possible culprits that are conspiring to “keep you down”, but let me break it down for you. Are you ready? THE PERSON TO BLAME, THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CURRENT SITUATION, IS READING THIS ARTICLE, RIGHT NOW.
Don’t look around to see who is reading over your shoulder. I’m talking to you. You are responsible for where you are in your life. Now for the good news – YOU ALSO CONTROL WHERE YOU WILL GO AND WHAT YOU WILL BECOME FROM THIS POINT ON.
Stop looking for someone to blame and start focusing on what you can do, what you can become and where you can be. If others have come from circumstances that are worse than the situation that you are in, and have become successful, then why can’t you?
Excuses are abundant – but that’s what they are. They are the words that you use to try to excuse yourself from being what you can be. It’s all about YOUR choices – nothing else really matters.
110 excuses and negative phrases that are limiting your potential
We are the product of the things that we think about. How we think and what we think, about ourselves as well as others, becomes obvious when we begin to examine the things we do and the way we talk.
- The book of Proverbs (23:7) says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
- Marcus Aurelius said, “Our life is what out thoughts make it.”
- Buddha said, “Mind is everything. We become what we think.”
- William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”
So how we think is shown to the world by how we act and how we talk. Do you live a negative life? Most would probably answer, “no”. Your reality may entirely different than you think.
Recently I became interested in the negative phraseology (is that a word?) that I hear everyday. I started to list all of the negative phrases that I hear used everyday and was surprised at it’s length. The scary part is that it is by no means complete.
I encourage you to add to it in the comments. Use the “Share This” button to email it to a friend so that they can add to it.
Most of all, ask yourself, “Does my manner of talking betray my negative thinking?”
- that’s the way it’s always been
- that’s the way we’ve always done it
- don’t make waves
- don’t rock the boat
- go along and get along
- we like the old-fashioned ways
- I don’t need to know anymore than I already know
- If it was good enough for ________________, then it’s good enough for me
- I’m not paid to make those kinds of decisions
- It’s not my job
- It was like that yesterday
- nobody cares
- let somebody else worry about it
- it’s good enough for now
- why change now?
- this is the only way
- money doesn’t grow on trees
- life is hard
- you can’t have everything you want
- I can only do one thing at a time
- it’s just not possible
- I’m set in my ways
- you can’t teach an old dog new tricks
- I’m too old to learn something new
- it’s impossible
- that’s not part of my job description
- let me check on it
- I’ll have to get back to you
- I’m not qualified to handle that
- it’s out of my hands
- nobody told me
- why should I be the first?
- your expectations are too high
- I’ll do it tomorrow
- they’re just lucky
- they think they are so smart
- they think they are better than everyone else
- I don’t see the upside
- I’m not a guinea pig
- life is a rat race
- why want more?
- nobody showed me how to do it
- I don’t know how to do it
- we can’t afford it
- do you think I’m made out of money?
- someday, I’ll ___________________
- one day, I’ll ____________________
- it’s a waste of time
- why should I do it?
- what’s in it for me?
- tell somebody who cares
- it’s not my fault
- I’m a loser
- I can’t do that
- it’s not my style
- why change now?
- it’s a waste of time
- I should have known better
- life’s a bitch
- you can’t change the world
- I’m nobody
- nobody listens tome
- does it really matter?
- you can’t do that
- what will everybody think?
- don’t stir things up
- leave it alone
- I’m only one person
- what do you expect me to do?
- I can’t go along with that
- don’t go out on a limb
- don’t stick out in a crowd
- I don’t believe in compromise
- it’s not my problem
- if you ignore it, it’ll go away
- don’t expect me to do it
- don’t count on me
- it’s out of my hands
- it’s beyond my control
- I can’t do it all
- I don’t have it in me
- don’t put me in that position
- don’t look up to me
- why can’t you do it?
- I would but _____________________
- I don’t want to
- whatever ……………………
- today is not good for me
- what is the point
- why me?
- you want me to do what?
- what’s in it for me?
- what’s the rush
- ask me if I care
- don’t be stupid
- it’s out of the question
- there are no exceptions
- that’s not my style
- I’m not able to _____________________
- I don’t have the skills
- I’m not technically minded
- I’m not smart enough
- it’s not worth my time
- I can’t talk in front of people
- I can’t ____________________________
- it’s too risky
- what if I fail?
- what will everyone think of me?
- I’m afraid
- it’s over my head
I’m sure that I’ve left some phrases out and I may have included some phrases more than once, but you get the idea. The point is: the way that we speak reflects our true image of ourself, how we view society and what we think of others.
Are you sabotaging yourself by using limiting or negative words and phrases? Eliminate the negativity from your speech and watch your life change.
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