Don’t allow negative thinking to stop you

February 23, 2008 · Posted in Choices, Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Motivation 

A positive light

(photo courtesy of Madeira)

 

NO!

It’s a word that we all hate to hear. In fact we hate it so much that we will usually avoid putting ourselves into a position of having to hear this negative response. The result?

  • We don’t ask for a raise.
  • We don’t ask the pretty girl for a date.
  • We don’t close the sale.
  • We don’t ask a possible mentor for his/her help.
  • We don’t get what we want.

The Problem of “No”

We are in the habit of taking a negative response (“NO”) personally and therefore, we tend to imagine all the the possible motivations behind the respondent’s answer. For example:

1. We didn’t get the raise, so we immediately begin to imagine all the possible causes:

  • The Boss doesn’t like me.
  • The Boss is a jerk.
  • The Boss thinks that I am inept.
  • The Boss doesn’t respect me nor my efforts.

Please notice that I wrote “imagine” all the possible causes. Our minds go to work trying to explain why we did not get what we want. The reality may be, and usually is, far different.

  • There may not be any room in the budget for your raise.
  • You may not have demonstrated to your boss your worthiness for a raise.

The result of your negative thinking

Because so many people hate to hear “NO”, we don’t ask for what we want. The result is that we don’t get what we want. And it’s all because of “imagined” motivations rather than actual responses.

Please notice that when you ask for something and don’t get it – You are no worse off than you were before you asked.

  • If the Boss doesn’t give you the raise, he doesn’t also say, “By the way, we are going to cut your pay”. You still have the same level of compensation as before.
  • If the pretty girl does not go out with you, then that doesn’t mean that the next one won’t either.
  • If the sales prospect says “No”, then you still have your product to sell to the next customer.

When you ask for something, you have nothing to lose. The key is to not take a negative response personally.

Ways to overcome negative thinking

1. STOP negative thoughts

2. Spot your negative thinking habits

3. Don’t believe everything you think

4. Top 10 ways to think positively

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Comments

5 Responses to “Don’t allow negative thinking to stop you”

  1. Stephen Hopson on February 25th, 2008 7:44 am

    Chris:

    You nailed it with this article. You are absolutely, 10000000 percent right.

    If you do not ask, you do not get. This is exactly what I was thinking when I went on a little rampage and contacted as many people as I knew to help me win a video contest that I was part of by asking people to simply take a few minutes out of their time to watch the 2 minute video and then stumbling it, forwarding it to their friends, etc.

    If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

    Now for the benefit of you and your readers, I’d like to ask for a favor. Would all of you click on the following link and watch a video that I did about my most life changing moment? It’s 2 minutes. If it inspired you, please forward it on to all of your friends, family, acquaintences, etc. And help me win this competition.

    Here’s the YouTube video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuqlVivegXg

    Great article!

    Stephen Hopson’s last blog post..End of the Week Gratitude Theme #16

  2. Chris Melton on February 25th, 2008 11:54 am

    Hi Stephen,

    I visited your video. It was great - I also went to Stumble and gave it a “thumbs up”.

    Keep up the outstanding work.

  3. Stephen Hopson on February 25th, 2008 12:24 pm

    Chris:

    THANKS! I appreciate your support very much.

    Stephen Hopson’s last blog post..End of the Week Gratitude Theme #16

  4. Brad Baggett on February 27th, 2008 7:50 pm

    I really like this one Chris. It is so natural for people to assume the worst or be negative. I talk all the time about how the World is reflected in a negative light by mainstream media and how if you really take time to appreciate what you have and how great your life really is it is crazy to think so negatively. Keep up the great work.

    http://www.JuiceofChampions.com

    Brad Baggett’s last blog post..Brain Candy - Don’t rot your mind!

  5. Blooming colors warm the heart! : JuiceofChampions.com on March 13th, 2008 8:12 pm

    [...] from main stream media that it is easy to forget the simple pleasures in life. You should never allow negative thoughts to limit you and your ability to succeed and grow. Stay positive and you are more productive, happier, and [...]

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