Five ways of dealing with “toxic” people

July 11, 2007 – 5:27 am

Here’s a little scenario. You’re at your desk, work station or on your way to the water cooler and you see him/her approaching. You know who I’m talking about:

the deliverer of bad news
the office gossip spreader
mr/mrs/ms “doom and gloom”
the “source” for all things negative
bad attitude, personified

So, what do you do? You know that if he/she catches you, that you may be stuck for a long while. You owe it to yourself and to your employer to develop and put in place a strategy for dealing with “mr/mrs negativity”. They cost the company by:

decreasing productivity – not only are they not doing anything, but they are hindering you from your job
increasing animosity – they constantly spread rumors and “half-truths” about your employer in hopes that you will join them on the “going nowhere sideline”
decreasing efficiency – you are not managing your time efficiently while listening to their drivel.
increasing your stress level – you have to adjust your schedule to compensate for the wasted time they used and that you allowed them to use. Will you take work home? Will you work late? Will your family understand? All this is unneeded stress.

Here are a few strategies for dealing with these people and the situations that they bring with them.

1. AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS!

If you see them first and you can go somewhere, go. Don’t wait for them to trap you. Your time is too valuable to waste. Although this method works, it is not a long-term solution because sooner or later they will sneak up on you and catch you.

2. BE ON AN URGENT ERRAND

Create a “dummy” portfolio. This is simply something that you can keep with you at all times and looks important. If Mr/Mrs Negative stops you, briefly explain that you are on your way to deliver “these documents” to the bank, the lawyer, the accountant, the shipping department, the payroll department — you get the idea. Stress the urgency of your mission and move on.

3. DEVELOP A “BUDDY” PLAN

You are not the only person who wants to avoid these people. Find a compatriot and create a plan so that if either of you see the other one “trapped in the clutches of negativity”, there is a means of rescue. Simply approach and say “John, can I get you to give me a hand with a problem?” Mr/Mrs Negativity probably does not want to have anything to do with work and will go in search of easier prey.

4. SUDDENLY REMEMBER AN URGENT TASK THAT MUST BE DONE NOW

This is similar to #2 but works if they capture you in a fixed position (at your desk). You must forcefully stress the “must be done now” nature of this task and then get busy doing it.

5. STOP BEING PASSIVE (POLITE)

The very idea that these people have the audacity to think that they can abuse my time is beyond me. Don’t take it anymore. You don’t owe them anything.
Tell them that you don’t have the time for their office politics.
Tell them that your time is too valuable to waste.
Tell them that you don’t appreciate their intrusion into your workday.
Tell them to “move on”.

Number five is hard, but it is a final solution. In most instances, if you make a stand and express your desire to do your job without meaningless interruptions, Mr/Mrs Negativity will leave you alone. It’s just too much trouble for them to have to deal with your resistance. Besides, Mr/Mrs Negativity will not want to talk to you if he/she thinks that you are not listening.

1 – 4 are temporary solutions and can only be used so many times before they are worn out. Be productive and efficient – go straight to the final solution – #5 (the permanent solution). You owe it to your boss, but mostly you owe it to yourself and family.