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How to be happy - four principles that help me stay focused

1. Count your blessings

• Can you walk?
• Can you talk?
• Can you see and hear?
• Did you sleep in a bed last night?
• Are you hungry?
• Do you have a job?

(photo by PJFurlong06)

We all have so much to be thankful for. Perhaps it is because of this that we tend to focus on what we don’t have. It’s really just a matter of perspective. If you live in America and are living at poverty level, then you are still better off than 90% of the rest of the people in the world.

• America is the great land of opportunity. If you live here, then you are limited only by the limitations that you place on yourself.
• Statistically, a person who immigrates to the U.S. is four times more likely to become a millionaire than a native born American.
• Why? They see what is possible and realize that the only things that stand in their way can be overcome with hard work, time, dedication and focus. They see opportunity – not the lack of it.

You really have to work hard to feel sorry for yourself when you put things into perspective.

2. Don’t take yourself to seriously – No one else does

We all spend a lot of time wondering what other people are thinking and saying about us. The answer is simple – how much time do you spend thinking about other people? If my guess is correct, then it is quite a bit less than we are willing to admit.

(photo by Jimmy Joe)

We all like to think that people are listening to what we have to say and that they care about what we think. They are really just waiting for us to shut up so that they can have their turn to talk.

It is only when we focus our attention on “the other” person that people begin to appreciate us. People don’t really care what we think until they know that we care. By taking the time to listen we demonstrate that we value the other person.

• We want to hear what they think
• We are open to their ideas
• We want to help them

3. Keep your promises

Keeping your word will eliminate most of the guilt that you feel and lighten the load of stress.

(photo by discoodini)

• If you can’t fulfill an obligation then inform the person to whom you have made a commitment to as soon as possible. This will give them the chance to find an alternative and demonstrate your integrity. If you put it off, then you limit the options of the other person and put yourself in an even worse position.
• Don’t make promises that you know you can’t keep. Don’t promise the moon if you know that you can’t deliver it. You’ll lose credibility. People will lose respect for you and you won’t be taken seriously. It’s not worth it.
• Promises to you children (and spouse) count the same as a promise to a customer or colleague. Even though they’ll overlook your shortcomings in this area (for a while), it will eventually affect the long-term health of your relationship. It’s kind of difficult to tell a teen that you are interested in their life and problems when you haven’t been spending time with them.
• Apologies get old and no one takes them seriously if they are said too often. Keep your promises and you’ll have fewer apologies to make.

4. If you have a dream – then you owe it to yourself to pursue it

(photo by @n@bou)

Don’t blame others for your inability to do what you want to do. If you want it badly enough, then you will find a way to make it happen. Often the problem is that that there is “no easy” way to do what we want. There seldom is.

• Realizing a dream does not happen without effort – your effort.
• Show your passion – it shows that you are serious and lights a fire under others as well.
• Move confidently in the direction of your dream every day. Small steps add up. Do something every single day that contributes to the achievement of your goal.
• Ask for help. Others want to help and will help. Don’t be too proud – besides, sharing an accomplishment makes the accomplishment mean that much more.

Tags: promises, integrity, dreams, goals, blessings

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