To change your life, you must want to change and then take action

July 27, 2007 · Posted in Change, Motivation, Self-help 

Often you hear people say, “I want to change”. The truth of the matter, however, is that this is seldom true. People do not like change for the most part because it forces them out of their comfort zone. And once a person is out of their comfort zone, there is no telling what may happen.

One of the first and maybe greatest obstacles to change is the fear of the unknown. When a person is forced to change by outside forces (loss of job, relationship ends, etc.), there is mostly:

  • resentment
  • opposition

But, as we all know, these things occur regularly, so our options are to:

  • deal with it
  • avoid it

Avoiding the situation is not really an option because this change has been thrust upon us by forces beyond our control. We cannot keep going to a job that no longer employs us, nor can we maintain a relationship that no longer includes us. This leaves our only real option of dealing with it.

Internal, self-motivated change can be caused by a number of things, but usually it is the result of a realization that there is something about ourselves with which we are no longer content.

This is often the cause of dieting and exercise programs, continuing our education or beginning a program of enlightenment. This is the best kind of change, but also the most difficult to maintain because the motivation for changing resides within us and therefore we control how strong the motivation is.

This motivation is often attacked by our friends and relatives and manifests itself with responses like:

  • “I like you just the way you are”
  • “Do you know how (long, hard, insert adjective) it going to take to do that?”
  • “Don’t you think you’re a little old for that?”
  • “What are our friends/relatives going to think”

These well-meaning people, are in reality only trying to maintain the stability of their own lives. If you continue to pursue your path of changing and you are successful, then you force them to examine their own lives and as we’ve noted, people will avoid changing if it is a viable option.

If you want to change then you will be in the process of changing. If you are not in the process of changing then you don’t really want to change, you are simply toying with the idea. If you are toying with the idea of changing some aspect of your life, then make some lists:

  1. List all the pros and cons of changing
  2. List all the possible consequences that this change may cause
  3. List all the people affected by this change
  4. List all the possible objections you will hear
  5. Finally, look within yourself and ask, “Will this change contribute to my happiness?”

If you truly want to change some part of your life then you will take action.  Get started today and be in the process of changing your life and your future. 

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